Class: Awesome Boundaries

This is SexPositive Portland's AWESOME BOUNDARIES class for Empowerment, Safety, and Really Good Sex! This is a core class requirement to level up to Level 2!

This is a way for everyone in SexPositive Portland to have a chance to experience and re-experience learning about boundaries . . . 'cause there is always more to learn.

Okay, let's admit it, at one time or another we've all said yes when we wanted to say no, no when we wanted to say yes, and maybe when we really didn't mean it. Also, at one time or another, we've pushed someone's boundaries, invaded their personal space, went in for a hug or some other kind of touch without waiting, accepted a lukewarm yes when we knew they didn't mean it. Right?!?

Most of us have! How did it leave us feeling sometimes? Angry at ourself and/or the other person, guilt ridden, pissed off, remorseful? Why do we do it? Because neither culture nor family of origin may have taught us any better. In fact, they often taught us how to go against our own boundaries in order to please others (if they taught us about boundaries at all), to push for what we wanted (a "real man" would go for it, wouldn't they?), how to be nice and not make waves (a "good girl" would not raise her voice or cause a scene).

SexPositive Portland believes that all people are longing for more connection, touch, love and pleasure in their lives. We know that sex-negativity has systematically robbed people of safe and healthy ways to get these needs met. We know that there is much work to be done to reclaim connection and sexuality as something natural, healthy and beautiful.

We'll take the time to explore how we got to where we are today with boundaries, and how each of us can get to a better place in how we set and receive boundaries.

In this 2.5 hour class you will learn and practice the following:

• Where your line is, and where you want to test your own boundaries (maybe you don't know how you feel about something until it happens).
• Learn how to explore safely using negotiation, changing your yes to a no when appropriate for you and giving and getting feedback.
• Learn how to say "no", gently with care, yet with authority and finality.
• How to deal with someone who doesn't respect your boundaries (dealing with it as it happens, reporting it, finding support after the fact).
• We'll discuss and demonstrate physical maneuvers to evade: unwanted touch, sudden or slowly evolving lack of social distancing, the person who doesn't hear or respect your "no." Using words, tone of voice, and screams as needed to be heard and avoid all possibility of being misunderstood.
• What to do if you freeze (fight, flight, or freeze response), and how to recognize that someone you are interacting with has frozen (usually caused by past trauma). This is a practical class where we discuss actual and theoretical situations and give useful information for how to deal with them. And then role play for practice.

We are very specifically not going to be trying to place blame on self or others, as we strongly believe that this is a larger cultural and systemic problem. Like all problems, boundaries can best be handled by starting compassionately, elegantly and with a view to problem solving and best practices.

We'll work together as a group and in pairs to practice what we are learning in a variety of ways. You'll be amazed what comes up that you didn't even expect, and how much you can learn about yourself, your boundary style and your self talk when negotiating with others.

Logistics

Hearth & Soul is located in North Portland; there is one stair to get into the house & a beautiful, black cat on site.

PARKING:

Hearth and Soul has 2 street entrances from either N Blandena st or N Gay Ave. The house is not visible from the street.

From N Blandena st:

Park on the street (not the coldesac) and walk to the end of the sidewalk. Open the gate labeled "2147 N Blandena street PRIVATE PATH (not a handy shortcut)" and walk past the tree. 

From N Gay Ave:

Park on the street, and follow the dirt road up to our lawn overlooking the river. Turn left and enter the gate.

Pay-scale and Cost Information

Everyone is encouraged to contribute what you can in support of SexPositive Portland and our mission.

Even if you are attending for free via the sliding scale, please RSVP.

The following sliding scale options are available to choose from:

$15 - Arms Wide Open

$10 - Gentle Hugs

$5 - Hold Me Tight

$0 - Pick Me Up