Study Club October: Metamours

Are you looking to learn new skills to help you build better non-monogamous relationships? Do you want to get new ideas and perspectives from other ENM folks on the challenges you are facing? Are you excited to nerd out about relationships? Join us!

Let’s learn together via a monthly, group-driven discussion. Each month we’ll look up resources pertaining to an ENM topic: readings, podcasts, even Reddit threads, and unpack what we’ve found. At the end we will take suggestions for next month's topic. Think of a cross between a book club and a support group; we’ll seek out new tools and techniques relevant to the attendees’ challenges.

We meet at 7 PM on the first Tuesday of each month. If you can't make the in-person event, you can attend remotely. Everyone is welcome, regardless of familiarity with non-monogamy. A $5 donation is suggested, but NOTAFLOF.

Topic (October 2025)

Metamours! That is, partners of your partners. Let's talk about how they impact you, how to improve and maintain relationships with them, how to manage boundaries in case that goes a little too well, and how to set expectations in the context of parallel, kitchen table, solo polyamory, and maybe even DADT?

Resources

Make suggestions in the event chat, and I’ll edit them into this list!

1. More Than Two 2e, Rickert and Zanin, section 4.19, "Life in the Polycule"
2. "Perceived Impacts of Partners’ Other Relationships on Oneself in Consensual Nonmonogamy," Arter and Bunge (thanks, Jacqui!)
3. "Relationship Bill of Rights" (thanks, Hunter!)
4. Multiamory podcast, "Your metamour is not the villain"

Getting There

We ❤️ East Bay Community Space. In addition to driving, consider:

1. 18 minute walk from Rockridge BART; public parking lot around the station entrance
2. 22 minute walk from MacArthur BART; public parking structure south of the station entrance
3. buses connect to both BART stations via Telegraph
4. Lyft bikes are available at both BART stations

Remote attendees can join via Zoom. Know that the audio quality may not be stellar, and that you may not get the same chances to speak.

Food and Drink

You may bring your own food and drink into the space. Please mind the mess and clean up after yourself.

Feedback

You may send us feedback via the following:

1. enmstudyclub@gmail.com
2. An upcoming form (soon!)
3. A Plura DM to Rene

If you are wanting to talk to someone independently of Poly Happy Hour leadership (ie you are having an issue with somebody who hosts or moderates one of our events or online discussion groups, and they would not be the appropriate people to send a complaint to), please reach out to Bloom's Consent and Safety team via email at safety@bloomcommunity.com

Safety and Privacy

These events are intended to encourage safe, honest, and vulnerable conversation between strangers. Keep identifying info or personal stories within the group. Participants are encouraged to exercise best judgment and speak up for best standards around homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, xenophobia, racism, and all manner of otherings.

This is not a place to cruise for hookups. No jerks.