ENM Study Club: Resisting Hierarchy

Are you looking to learn new skills to help you build better non-monogamous relationships? Do you want to get new ideas and perspectives from other ENM folks on the challenges you are facing? Are you excited to nerd out about relationships? Join us!

Let’s learn together via a monthly, group-driven discussion. Each month we’ll look up resources pertaining to an ENM topic: readings, podcasts, even Reddit threads, and unpack what we’ve found. At the end we will take suggestions for next month's topic. Think of a cross between a book club and a support group; we’ll seek out new tools and techniques relevant to the attendees’ challenges.

After each meeting, everyone is invited to stay for free-form social time.

We meet at 7 PM on the first Tuesday of each month. If you can't make the in-person event, you can attend remotely. Everyone is welcome, regardless of familiarity with non-monogamy. A $8 donation is suggested, but NOTAFLOF.

Topic (May 2026)

Hierarchical relationships have a bad reputation. Is it truly possible to achieve non-hierarchical freedom? What is "sneakyarchy," and how do we avoid it? What parts of hierarchy are unavoidable?

Resources

Make suggestions in the event chat, and I’ll edit them into this list!

Getting There

In addition to driving, consider walking from 19th St BART (20 minutes), taking a bus, or renting a Lyft bike.

We are in the private event room. Go towards the back of the store, following the signs to the restroom. Once you go through a door into a hallway, we are in one of the rooms on your left.

Food and Drink

Clio’s serves some light snacks and beverages. Please support the venue and order your refreshments from them! Plus, they make a great house negroni.

Feedback

We’d love to hear from you! You can reach out via the following:

• Our feedback form
• enmstudyclub@gmail.com
• In person at the event or a happy hour

Safety and Privacy

These events are intended to encourage safe, honest, and vulnerable conversation between strangers. Keep identifying info or personal stories within the group. Participants are encouraged to exercise best judgment and speak up for best standards around homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, xenophobia, racism, and all manner of otherings.

Recording and transcription devices are not allowed, in order to protect the privacy of attendees. We do not record the Zoom stream. AI devices are prohibited; please make all best efforts to disable any such devices before the meeting begins.

This is not a place to cruise for hookups. No jerks.