Study Club August: Communicating Intimacy + Check-Ins

Are you looking to learn new skills to help you build better non-monogamous relationships? Do you want to get new ideas and perspectives from other ENM folks on the challenges you are facing? Are you excited to nerd out about relationships? Join us!

Let’s learn together via a monthly, group-driven discussion. Each month we’ll look up resources pertaining to an ENM topic: readings, podcasts, even Reddit threads, and unpack what we’ve found. At the end we will take suggestions for next month's topic. Think of a cross between a book club and a support group; we’ll seek out new tools and techniques relevant to the attendees’ challenges. Everyone is welcome, regardless of familiarity with non-monogamy. The event is free to attend.

Meetings are in-person at 7 PM on the first Tuesday of each month, near uptown Oakland. As we are a young group, we are trying different venues out, so bear with us while we get settled.

Topic (August 2025)

Two topics were popular this time; tackle whichever interests you most.

1. how to communicate around intimacy - what is and isn’t intimate, and how far along that path are you interested in going? How open are you to that changing? What about your partner, and their expectations? How do you manage mismatches between these?
2. how to schedule routine maintenance and check-ins: how often, what’s covered, and what happens if you already talk about your relationship often? What should be discussed immediately, and what should be held for a later, scheduled discussion? Under what conditions is it not ok to do a check-in?

Resources

Suggestions from myself and others around this topic:

1. Understanding Complex Trauma and Its Effects With Amber Trejo: https://tinyurl.com/yku4jkrk (thanks, Zak!)
2. Multiamory’s “RADAR:” https://www.multiamory.com/radar

Please drop links in the event chat before our next meeting, and I’ll edit them into the description.

See you all soon!