🫦 Exploring Non-Monogamy with The Boundary Card Game

About the Class

Join us for a fun online class where you'll get to discover the nature of the bond between you and your partner, and between your partner and you, and how to care for it well as you explore with others (together or separately.

For non-monogamy to work, it's crucial to extend care and consideration towards your partner and the bond that connects the two of you as each of you engage with other people and as they engage back!

In this class you'll:

1. Receive a digital copy of the boundary card game (which you can print and use, or you can order the physical deck by paying for shipping)
2. Learn how to use the game to better understand the nature of the bond between you and your partner as well as creating engagements with others with deep care and consideration for each other
3. Explore ways to push your and your partner's edge without putting on too much pressure
4. Make it easier to speak about what matters most to each of you or what is most scary for each of you without fear, and how to find a middle ground what feels great to both
5. Learn how the boundary (the line of what feels okay/right when it comes to your partner playing with others) looks different for each of you (and learn why it's normal and okay)

Come alone or with a partner, this will be a fascinating and captivating conversation about collaborating and co-creating a non-monogamous relationship that is full of sweetness, playfulness, care, and consideration.

The "boundary card game" is actually much more than a game and much more than just about boundaries. Getting a sense of what is "okay" for one partner when they consider their partner playing with others represents a much deeper sense of how they conceive of the bond between them, and this looks different for each partner. This tool allows couples to finally have a conversation about what matters to them (in other words their values) in their relationship, and what both partner can do to support the bond between them even as they engage and play with others, leading to a deeper more secure relationship.

What is Considerate Non-Monogamy (CNM)?

CNM goes beyond consent by bringing consideration as a core value of relating non-monogamously. Instead of simply seeking consent, considerate non-monogamy extends one's consideration to other partners by expressing this simple practice: "What matters to you, matters to me!".

We believe that for relationships to work well, each partner has to bring enough attunement, care, and consideration to the mix to support the relationship in being relationally healthy.

This is also how secure relating (from an attachment theory perspective) works; humans consider and include the people that matter to them as part of their decision process, much like parents consider their family--their partner and children--when making decisions that will affect them. Similarly, we believe that considerate non-monogamous people engage and make decisions that consider the impact of their actions on their lovers, partners, friends, and community.

Relationality thus becomes the waters the considerate non-monogamous person navigates and lives in.

The Story of the Boundary Card Game

The Boundary Card Game: A Way to Discover Boundaries And Design Healthy Agreements Between You And Partner(s) to create beautiful Ethical Non-Monogamous Relationships

A long time ago, Philippe and Paget made a thing on bits of paper to help them understand the boundaries they wanted for each other when it came to connecting with others.

They called it The Boundary Card Game

For many years this thing lived as a doc and they would send it to people and clients who wanted to have the same conversation with their partners and lovers.

And now it finally exists as a real physical thing, and it's been upgraded to help people design healthy rules and agreements to reflect the healthy boundaries, needs, pace, and desires they have for themselves and in their relationship, especially in the context of playing with others at play parties and "temples" (a spiritual version of a play party)

If you've had a difficult time or have felt frustrated with having a conversation with a partner about what is okay or not okay for them when it comes to you connecting with others, or the other way around, this is a game changer. Also if you're a therapist or coach and would like to get a deck for yourself to possibly recommend as a tool for your clients, please let us know!

About Philippe & Paget

Philippe and Paget have been together for 21 years, married for 17. They have a beautiful secure open nesting co-parenting best-friendship partnership. Out of this relationship they call "Afthonia", greek for abundance, they created an amazing secure creative human named Phoenix who is now a 14yo teen boy. Together they are "Three P's in a Pod" as a sweet family living in North Oakland, California where they each pursue and support each other to explore what fascinates and captivates each of them!