Freaky Holidays

Managing Interactions with Families of Origin for Sex/Gender Nonconformists

Dealing with families of origin can be challenging for everyone, and the difficulty level can be even higher for people who live outside of their family's expectations around sexuality, relationships, and/or gender. What to do when you are going to be with family members over the holidays who run the gamut from clueless but harmless to outright hostile? It is good to know that you are not alone in feeling nervous about spending time with family members.

This workshop offers participants strategies for what to do before, during, and after holiday visits with family members who might not understand sex and gender diversity. In this workshop we will discuss methods for how and when to come out if you haven’t yet told your family about changes in your life, cultivating allies to help each other during stressful interactions, and ways to set yourself up for successful survival. We will consider how to prepare for difficult conversations, avoid scenes you have no interest in entertaining, make escape plans if things get out of hand, and plan for aftercare once the visit is over. Participants will be able to bring up specific concerns and scenarios and we can brainstorm solutions using the power of group support.

About your facilitator

Dr. Elisabeth "Eli" Sheff (she/her) has researched polyamorous families with children for over 25 years. She is the author of four books, 30+ peer-reviewed publications, and 130+ blogs on Psychology Today, with 10+ years’ experience coaching people facing challenges with CNM and BDSM. Dr. Eli specializes in the mono/CNM mismatch because she intellectualized her fear, and has been the mono partner in two CNM/mono marriages. Her super-power is combining research findings and trends gleaned from her coaching practice with personal insights to understand if, when, and how mono/CNM relationships can work or not.

The Pincus Center for Inclusive Treatment and Education specializes in working with queer, transgender/nonbinary, kinky, and ethically non-monogamous/polyamorous people. We value sex positivity (including asexuality), body positivity and fat liberation, and racial justice.