Love Seat: A Free Connection Game

  • Berkeley, CA -
  • 24 people on the list-

Love Seat is a free cooperative game where each participant is given a chance to explore how they want to be loved and supported by the rest of the group. The number of participants range from four to ten. Five participants will be coming from another group, so I will limit the number of people from bloom to five. To reserve a spot, email me at


Each willing participant is given an equal amount of time in the love seat. And once it's your turn to be in the love seat, it's your show. You get to ask for what you want, and if there is consent, you'll get it.


There are many possibilities.

One possibility is verbal sharing. With verbal sharing, you get the chance to share on any topic that is personally meaningful to you. For example, you could share about anger you feel toward a family member or an insecurity you are feeling at the moment or it could be about a big decision you need to make. Shares can be vulnerable, joyous, or even confusing.

When you start talking from the love seat you are making an implicit request for silent listening from the rest of the group. Having a group's full attention like this can be healing and heart-warming, and it might be all that you want. But if you want more than this, you will need to make requests to the group.

For example, you could ask the group (or specific individuals in the group) for reflections, questions, advice, or anything else you may desire. And you get to decide how this happens. You could ask the group for responses throughout your share, at the very end, or in any way that makes sense to you.

Another possibility is touch. You want a massage, ask for it. You want to lay down and be tickled, ask for it. You want your head caressed by person A and your feet squeezed by person B, ask for it.

Other love seat possibilities include role playing, interpretive dance, playing a game, primal screaming, or any combination of these ideas. Or maybe you have another idea. Perfect. Ask for it!


When not in the love seat, one of your primary tasks is to decide if you are willing to abide by the requests coming from the love seat. This is where an important consent rule comes into play, and the rule is this: When you are a no to a request, say no. This is important for two reasons. (1) Being a yes when you are really a no feels real shitty. And (2) when the person in the love seat knows that people are willing to say no, then they're more able to enjoy people's yesses.

In this game, there are many ways to say no. You can say, "No thank you." You can say, "Pass." Or you can signify a no non-verbally by crossing your arms to your chest or by moving away from the action. It is also important to remember that you can be a no even when you were an initial yes. You can change your mind anytime.

Another element of the consent process is negotiation. There are going to be times when you are a yes to a request, but only if the love seat is willing to slightly modify their request. In those times, it is appropriate to tell the love seat what change would need to occur for you to be a yes.

Lastly, when you are a yes, you should only do what is asked of you, and nothing more.


Yes. If you ever need the game to stop, say "Red." That will stop the game immediately and lead to a group discussion, if necessary.

And that's it. You are ready to play.

(And in case you have more questions, there will be an opportunity to ask them before the game begins.)

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