Non-Monogamy Discussion Group Vancouver - October 2025

Welcome to the Non-Monogamy Discussion Group Vancouver! We will be meeting the THIRD Monday of the month at Cross and Crows Books . Bring your ideas, questions and opinions!

Topic: Ghosts of Monogamy - Unpacking Mono-normativity

Most of us were raised in a culture where monogamy isn’t just the norm, it’s the assumed default. From fairy tales to family dinners, we’re steeped in messages that tell us what relationships “should” look like: exclusive, couple-centered, lifelong, and often hierarchical. Even when we choose non-monogamy, those scripts don’t just vanish - they linger in our expectations, reactions, and structures.

This month, we’re digging into the invisible scripts of mononormativity: How does growing up in a monogamy-centered society shape the way we relate, even when we consciously choose non-monogamy? We’ll also explore the structural aspects, how things like couples privilege, hierarchical assumptions, and the idea that relationships should “progress” in a certain way can show up in our non-monogamy.

What are the ways these mono norms trip us up, even when we’re trying to do something different? How do we spot the ghosts in the room, and how do we respond with more awareness, compassion, and choice?

The Specifics:

Date: Oct. 20, 2025

Time: 7:00pm - 9:00pm

(Doors open at 7pm for this event and we start the discussion at 7:30pm)

Where: Cross and Crows Books - 2836 Commercial Drive

Cost: by donation ($2-5) or shopping at the bookstore!

Who can attend: Those who practice non-monogamy or are curious about it - We ask that if you engage in our space that your partners have knowledge of your practice or interest.

Health/Safety: Please do not attend if you are sick (even if it's not covid). I will bring my air filter for the space. Stay vaccinated. Please leave your perfumes at home.

We will be continuing the no mandatory masks for the rest of 2025. See pinned post in the feature section of the group.

Accessibility: Technically a wheelchair accessible entrance (has a slope) but not a washroom. Semi low stim - you can hear the sky train pass. The book store is closed to the public but staff are there so event attendees can shop. Variety of chair styles/sizes available.

What to expect during this event

7:00pm - Door open, find yourself a chair, browse the book store (you can shop) and settle in.

7:30pm - Discussion begins

-Read the Norms

-Introductions & Ice Breaker

-Topic: Ghosts of Monogamy - Unpacking Mono-normativity

10 min break

-Announcements & Discussion cont.

9pm Wrap-up - check out at the bookstore or order a book for pick up.

9:10pm You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here