North Bay Babble On: Red Flags & Safe Words — Dealing with Bad Actors in Kink

North Bay Babble On: Red Flags & Safe Words — Dealing with Bad Actors in Kink

Kink is built on trust, consent, and mutual pleasure—but sometimes people show up in our communities who use power not to connect, but to control. This month’s Babble On is all about navigating the messy side of kink: how to spot red flags, call out manipulative behavior, and protect our spaces from folks who weaponize “dominance” as an excuse to be, well… an asshole.

We’ll explore the difference between edgy play and actual harm, talk about how to support each other when things go sideways, and share tips on vetting, boundary-setting, and community accountability. Whether you’ve had to deal with this firsthand, witnessed it from the sidelines, or just want to sharpen your spidey-senses—this is a space to name what doesn’t feel right, and learn how to keep ourselves (and each other) safer.

Possible talking points include:

– “Is that dominance… or a power trip?”

– What do abusers in kink clothing often say or do?

– How do we handle harm-doers in our scenes, parties, and play spaces?

– What does real accountability look like—without drama or shame spirals?

– How can we build cultures of care, not just consent checklists?

We’ll keep things real, compassionate, and (as always) a little cheeky. Because protecting our community is kink care—and calling out assholes doesn’t have to kill the vibe.

Come on out, bring your questions, and talk about the stuff. Get some great new ideas, and let's build community together!

The first Tuesday of every month. It's ok to come at any time during the meeting. I mean, like come into the room...

Babble On is our monthly Topical/Themed kink-friendly, sex-positive discussion munch in the North Bay. Topics include kink community building, consent culture and safety, ethical non-monogamy, defining terminology and jargon, history of kink, tips, tools, and techniques, dealing with jealousy, bridging social media and the real world, community accountability, and whatever we decide as a group we need to discuss...