North Bay Babble On: Use Your Words - Negotiating & Asking for What You Want

Let’s talk about the real kink skill set: communication. Whether you’re craving something new, wanting less of something old, or figuring out how to say “harder,” “softer,” or “actually… not that,” this month’s Babble On is all about negotiating clearly and asking for what you want without turning into a puddle of awkward.

In kink, desire doesn’t magically translate. It gets discussed. Negotiated. Clarified. Revisited. We’ll dive into how to articulate fantasies, name limits, navigate mismatched interests, and ask for the things that feel vulnerable to say out loud. Because “I don’t know, whatever you want” is not a dynamic—it’s a missed opportunity.

We’ll explore:

– How to prepare for a negotiation (and what to include)

– Turning fantasies into actionable scenes

– Asking for more… or less… without shame

– Handling rejection, redirection, or renegotiation

– Mid-scene check-ins and adjusting in real time

– The difference between compromise and self-abandonment

Expect honest stories, practical tips, and maybe a few scripts you can steal and try later. Whether you’re a seasoned negotiator or someone who still blushes at the word “choking,” come sharpen your communication skills and leave feeling more confident, clear, and empowered.

Because in kink—and in life—getting what you want usually starts with saying it out loud.

Come on out, bring your questions, and talk about the stuff. Get some great new ideas, and let's build community together!

The first Tuesday of every month. It's ok to come at any time during the meeting. I mean, like come into the room...

Babble On is our monthly Topical/Themed kink-friendly, sex-positive discussion munch in the North Bay. Topics include kink community building, consent culture and safety, ethical non-monogamy, defining terminology and jargon, history of kink, tips, tools, and techniques, dealing with jealousy, bridging social media and the real world, community accountability, and whatever we decide as a group we need to discuss...

Address: Arlene Francis Center 99 6th St, Santa Rosa, CA 95401, United States

Cost: $10-20 donation requested for the Arlene Francis Center