Open Community Potluck at Brad's Home

We welcome people who wants to learn more about non-monogamy, whether you're simply curious or are actively practicing some form of non-monogamy.

Experience with non monogamy is not required to attend. We welcome:

• Straight, Gay, and all identities and orientations within the LGBTQ+ rainbow
• Solo Poly, Relationship Anarchist, Polyamorist, Swingers, Monogamous but dating someone Non-Monogamous
• Friend/Ally of someone Non-Monogamous
• And all the other lovely flavors of Non-Monogamy

This community values consent, honesty, authenticity, vulnerability, kindness, and accountability. We invite you into our safe space and hope that you feel welcome and at home here.

This event follows the same template as Open Heart Gatherings potlucks organized by Rose, used with her consent. Rose is not the organizer of the event, please contact Alan with any questions.

LOCATION

Address will be posted in chat for everyone who RSVPs.

Brad’s Home in Sunnyvale; the listed event address (1035 Indian Wells Ave, Sunnyvale) is Muwékma Park across the street (where I recommend you park!).

ACCESSIBILITY:

Three-story townhome, potluck will be on the second floor, so you'll have to ascend a flight of stairs to participate.

PETS

I don't have any, service animals are welcome.

EVENTBRITE

If you attend these potlucks often, you may be looking for the Eventbrite link so you can get a free ticket to reserve your spot. There is no corresponding Eventbrite link, the only prep actions before day-of are to RSVP here on Bloom and sign up in the Potluck signup below.

WHEN ARE THINGS HAPPENING?

We request that you show up on time! If you cannot, show up by 7PM at the latest.

6:30 PM - 7:15 PM

Potluck Dinner and Socializing

7:15 PM - 7:30 PM

Welcome circle, community guidelines, topic

7:30 PM - 8:15 PM

Small Group Discussion

8:15 PM - 8:30 PM

Popcorn Discussion

DISCUSSION TOPIC

Topic suggestions and requests will be taken from attendees. Here's a list of possible topics. Share in the Bloom event chat which ones call to you that you'd like to see discussed.

POTLUCK FOOD

This is a dinner potluck event, so bring food to share. Potluck sign up HERE

Your potluck contribution can be home cooked or take out. All options are much preferred to 5 different types of chips and dip, so please check the potluck sign up before grabbing your food.

If you want a challenge, there are usually people attending who would appreciate Gluten Free, Vegan, Vegetarian, or Low Sugar foods.

PARKING

Street parking: Muwékma Park

https://maps.app.goo.gl/QthjsJptmGWbhTji6

Cross the street to arrive at Brad’s place

COMMUNITY GUIDELINES

Please read all of the guidelines if you are new, (or if it has been a while since you attended) including the safer space guidelines

CONFIDENTIALITY

• Everything shared in this group should be treated as confidential and private.
• Do not greet people outside of this group in a manner that would out them.

COMMUNITY AND LIFESTYLE OVERLAP : Strive to be Aware and Considerate in conversation

• There’s lots of different communities overlapping at this gathering. Some are spicy, some are vanilla, some are both. Keep in mind that topics and activities that you are an enthusiastic YES to talking and hearing about, others sharing the same space with you may not feel the same.
• Not everyone who is non monogamous is comfortable hearing explicit details of other people's sexual experiences. Graphic stories of scenes may be wanted by some, but not by everyone. Read the room and keep details light unless you know that everyone within the immediate hearing area is an enthusiastic YES to hearing it.
• We encourage you to advocate for yourself if a conversation comes up that makes you uncomfortable. For example, you can say: "I'm not comfortable with this topic, can we please talk about something else?" Or you can relocate to a different group.

CONSENT AND RESPECTING BOUNDARIES

• At this event you may see hugging, kissing, and cuddling. Do not assume that what someone does with other people will be comfortable for them to do with you.
• Always ask for consent when entering someone’s personal space. For example, asking someone, “Would you like a hug”? Or “OK if i sit next to you on the couch?”
• If you are asked, we encourage you to take a moment and check in with yourself before responding honestly with a YES or NO.
• If you want to connect (but not in the way they asked) you can say, “I don’t want ___________ but I am open to "_______” (something else). For example “I’m a NO to a hug, but yes to a high five”
• If someone says NO to your request, the easiest response you can give is : ” thank you for taking care of yourself “ and moving on

HOLDING SPACE FOR EACH OTHER

If you feel comfortable doing so, hold space for each other. Holding space means letting others speak their truth, without assumptions, judgement, or trying to fix them. Sometimes this is the only place where someone can have space held for them to simply be and express what they are experiencing.

If you need to leave early, please by all means take care of yourself. Please check in with the host on your way out in case there's some action I can take to support you.

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SAFER SPACE GUIDELINES

We strive to provide a “safer space” for community members. What do we mean by “safer space”?

In short, a “safer space” is a place where behavioral guidelines support each of us in guarding each person’s self-respect and dignity, a place for open and honest communication, where one has the freedom to speak or not to speak, where one takes responsibility for recognizing one’s own triggers as well as how (and when) other people are triggered, where confidentiality, empathy, and compassion are encouraged and difference is accepted.

Our “safer space” guidelines CANNOT AND DO NOT guarantee your safety, nor do they guarantee that you will always feel safe.

Each of us is responsible for setting and communicating clear boundaries when engaging with people at events. All attendees must respect the physical and personal boundaries of other attendees at all times.

Keep in mind that you can make someone uncomfortable without intending to do so. Comments that may seem innocuous to you can be painful to others. Light touch, hugging, cuddling, and other seemingly innocent forms of physical contact can be offensive or alarming when such touch is given without explicit permission.

Pro-Tip for new attendees: Circulate at events. Be graceful. If you’re enjoying talking to someone, give him or her the opportunity to exit the conversation anyway.

We do not tolerate harassment of any kind. If you harass someone, you will be asked to leave and may be banned from future events. Harassment includes (but is not limited to) making unwelcome sexual advances; making comparative comments about age, race, religion, nationality, sexual expression, gender expression, sexual orientation, weight, or lifestyle; touching, photographing, or recording people without their explicit permission; demanding contact information from others; deliberate intimidation; mockery; stalking; following; and sustained disruption of events.

We believe that most people who attend our events do so without ill intentions. However, if you experience or witness inappropriate behavior, please bring it to the attention of the organizer, host, or a person at the event that you feel safe with.

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Note regarding after hours energy, adapted from Rose's invite email:  

At most Open Heart Gathering potlucks you may expect to see people hugging, cuddling, kissing, and familiar touch.  

The after hours energy at Brad's has in the past leaned into cozy, cuddly, sensual touch connection energy time that has felt just a touch "more than usual" PDA (public displays of affection) than most Open Heart Gathering events. If you are comfortable with this vibe you can look forward to being in a space where people are visibly cozy, snuggly, massage and sensual touch friendly with people they are familiar with. 

There may be massage/touch energy work happening, which can sometimes lead to a layer or two of clothing being removed for better massage access. 

I mention this as a heads-up so you can check in with yourself and make informed decisions about how late you may want to stay and what you are comfortable with.  

For attendees that would not be comfortable with being around this level of PDA or possible partial undress you may want to leave after the official discussion time is over.  

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Expected attendance of 30ish.