Queergasm Presents: Magical Creatures

  • Hosted by Bonobo Network
  • Oakland, CA -
  • 116 people on the list-

Queergasm Presents: Magical Creatures


pw: magic!

About this event

This Queergasm, we are again joined by our friends at Gender Blender. Come dressed as your favorite magical creature for a splendidly queer evening.

Queergasm is a play party, produced by Bonobo Network, by queers, for queers, and it's only open to queer people. That's because we want to create a space where queerness is not just welcomed or tolerated, but centered and celebrated.

Gender Blender is a community dedicated to centering trans, enby, genderqueer, gender nonconforming, and gender fluid people. We throw safer-sex consent based play parties, run workshops, and an awesome camp at Burning Man. To be part of our camp sign up here Camp Gender Blender at Burning Man and to learn more about us go to

For our purposes, if you identify as queer, this party is for you. No one will be checking your queer card. You are queer enough. If you are questioning or exploring if you might be queer or fall somewhere under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are welcome to attend Queergasm as you explore if you might identify as queer.

This party is for people with all levels of experience, from the merely curious or questioning to the most experienced swingers; from the decidedly monogamous to the most committed polyamorists. Under the umbrella of queerness, we welcome people representing every sexual preference, gender expression, and body type. None of us are getting free until we all get free.

The evening will include a playshop, light snacks, and excellent people. There will be an opening circle at 9:15pm to ground our journey for the evening in common values and language. Doors will close when opening circle begins, because it is really important for us to create a container of shared knowledge and trust together. Please arrive no later than 9pm, though we encourage you to join us earlier for more time to drop in and connect.

To support this event, we ask that you purchase tickets at the level that best reflects what you can afford. If you can afford to purchase at a higher tier, please do so. If you can't, then don't. No questions asked.

Questions? Check out our FAQs. If you need to transfer your ticket or request a refund, you can find instructions here. Email us at if you have questions not answered there.

Your Eventbrite confirmation email will contain ALL relevant details for attending this event. Check your email - including your spam folder - for a message from Please read this email in full and instruct any guests for whom you may have purchased tickets to do the same!

»»» Details

Date + Location

Saturday, September 9, 2023

7:00pm - 3:00am

Location: Private venue in Oakland. Location sent to ticket holders the morning of the party.


  • 7pm: Doors open at 7pm
  • 8pm: Pre-party playshop at 8pm
  • 9:15pm: DOORS CLOSE & Opening circle -- IMPORTANT: No entry after opening circle without prior permission from hosts. We are unable to grant last minute permission if you are running late!! Permission is only given to those who have completed Bonobo Network orientation and attended several Bonobo opening circles already.
  • 2am: Closing circle at

»»» Entertainment


8-9pm - Consent and Negotiation for Pick Up Play by Zee

This workshop will elevate your negotiation and consent skills to the next level. This workshop is designed by queers for queers to guide people of all backgrounds (and experience levels!) through the fun, but often intimidating act of pick-up play. You will leave feeling more confident, have more clarity of intent, and be better able to communicate your authentic desires. This class will equip you with practical tools that are your compass through the world of kink and sex negotiation, and the journey of self-discovery it entails. You will leave with better tools for asking for what you want, saying no (and saying yes!), negotiating with other queers, frameworks for creating the scenes you want, and asking the magic questions that elevate your play to the next level.

Together, let's embark on a journey of self-empowerment, where communication is an art and connections are tender and fulfilling. After all, your possibilities are only as high as you can articulate.

About Zee

Meet Zee (he/him), a dynamic voice at the intersection of sexuality and education. Embracing his identity as a queer educator, Zee's passion lies in the realms of consent, negotiation, and kink. With a keen focus on fostering understanding and empowerment, Zee shares the secret sexy tools of negotiation and consent.

Zee's commitment to inclusivity and respect shines through in his discussions. By breaking down barriers and promoting open dialogues, he paves the way for healthier relationships and informed choices. Through his engaging presentations, Zee invites you to explore the depths of human connection and communication.

Join Zee in their journey to embrace authenticity, understanding, and connection. Together, let's create a world where education leads to empowerment and acceptance.

Music: 10pm - 2am




Grounding-breaking rhythms and booty shaking beats make up the dynamic producer/dj known as Beat Kitty. Her sets are ecstatic and dance-floors infectious; blending hip hop, trap, and other low-end bass-driven styles for the enjoyment of all. Her eclectic selection of soundscapes are lively; creatively blending sass and downright dirty bass to get your body moving. She breaks the mold and forms her unique and innovative sounds through her classical background-blended with a hybrid of global and timeless sounds and deep cuts of heavier, grimier bass-lines.

DJ Godiva

DJ Godiva is the dance music outlet and radio persona for Paul de KT (aka, whose production and broadcast deejay experience extend over ten years back. These formative experiences helped hone his curation, shape his grasp of narrative, and sharpen his lockpicking skills when more than once he shut himself out of the studio during smoke breaks. More recently he has stepped into live mixing and has since spun at Burning Man, Come Together Campout, Room Service, and innumerable private funktions. While his name originated ignominiously in an illicit nude home invasion at Oliver Sacks' country estate, his game is of sterling repute. DJ Godiva’s bittersweet, creamy confection contains an encyclopedic kaleidoscope of tastes ranging between DnB, disco, house, techno, electro, funk, rock, trip-hop, and beyond. Take a bite and feel the theobromine spike!

»»» Theme

Magical Creatures

Unicorns, dragons, sphinxes, oh my!

Come dressed in your most fantastical magical creature outfits-- all creatures are welcome, of this world or of others, and join us for an evening of queer joy!

»»» Tickets

Please contribute at the level that best reflects what you can afford. That helps us maintain our generous No One Turned Away For Lack Of Funds policy.

  • Tickets will be on a sliding scale from $55 - $85 for PrimeMates, our premium members.
  • Tickets for our standard members and non-Bonobo attendees will be on a sliding scale starting at $65.
  • Discounted tickets are available to volunteers.
  • No one turned away for lack of funds. If you need a discount due to financial hardship, we have codes available.
  • No tickets will be sold at the door.

NEED A DISCOUNT? If you need a discount due to financial hardship, we invite you to use promo codes:

  • NOTAFLOF25 for a 25% discount
  • NOTAFLOF50 for a 50% discount
  • NOTAFLOF75 for a 75% discount
  • If you need a complimentary ticket, please email to make a request.

Who should use the NOTAFLOF policy? Examples are those who are supporting children or other dependents alone, have significant debt, are out of work without significant wealth or savings, have medical expenses not covered by insurance, receive public assistance, have immigration-related expenses, are an elder with limited financial support, are an unpaid community organizer.

»»» Volunteering

Volunteering is a great way to meet other Bonobos, and volunteer tickets have discounts baked into them as a thank you for your contribution. Available roles include:

  • Setup (Saturday 2 hours Pre-party) [$30 ticket]
  • Greeting (2 hour shifts during party) [$40 ticket]
  • Covid testing (2 hour shifts during party) [$40 ticket]
  • Angels (60 minute shifts during party) [$40 ticket] ONLY EXPERIENCED PEOPLE
  • Cleaning (60 minute shifts during party) [$40 ticket]
  • Strike (2 hours Post-Party [usually Sunday morning]) [$20 ticket]

»»» Inviting your friends

How do I invite my friend who isn’t a Bonobo member?

If you have a queer friend, lover, or partner you’d like to invite who is not a Bonobo member, great! Queergasm does not require Bonobo membership to attend. Please fill out this referral form, and then you may share this ticket link with your friend.

Bonobo is a community where consent and accountability are central to how we do things. Make sure your guest takes some time to read through Bonobo’s approach to consent and accountability. By coming to Queergasm, they agree to uphold our community values.

»»» Are you a gay man questioning if this party is right for you?

We hope you decide it is. We understand that there are many spaces for gay men in the Bay Area, and you have a lot of choices. We hope to stand out as somewhere you can expect lots of hot sexy experiences with other men and—if you want it—people of other genders, while also having a high standard of consent in our community. We hope to bring in a level of pleasure you have always desired but didn't know was possible or how to access.

Bonobo Network defines consent as an ongoing collaboration between two or more people in constant verbal, physical, and emotional dialogue about what each other needs to willingly, safely, and pleasurably engage in an interaction with one another.

And you can read more about our culture of consent here.

»»» What to Wear

Express yourself and have fun! Dress in whatever makes you feel comfy, sexy, and effort is always appreciated. When you’re on the street: Please DO NOT dress like you're going to a giant sex party! We recommend you bring a change of comfortable clothes for the end of the evening.

»»» Access Info

  • All play spaces are wheelchair accessible, though the event is usually crowded
  • This is a low scent space. Please come to the event as scent free as possible to help protect those of us with scent allergies and scent sensitivities.
  • There are no interpreters for this event.
  • There are 3 ADA-compliant restrooms, a wheelchair-accessible shower, and an elevator to access the second floor.
  • Seating is available, including multiple comfortable couches.
  • We recommend bringing ear plugs if you are noise sensitive, as the music can be loud

»»» COVID vax & testing requirements

Must show proof of vaccination, including at least one booster shot at the door. Please don't attend the party if you have any upper respiratory symptoms (cough, "throat tickle" or sore throat, nasal congestion, etc) or a known covid exposure within 5 days of the party—we'll happily refund your ticket.


We require everyone to bring a timestamped photograph of a covid antigen test (taken after 5pm on Saturday) at the door of the party, the results of a PCR test or Cue *administered* within 48 hours of the party (administered after 7pm Thursday), or bring your own antigen test to administer onsite.

A limited number of covid antigen tests will be available at the door of the party—please bring your own test or test results, or purchase an antigen test when buying your ticket!

»»» Incident Reporting

If your boundaries are crossed at the party, if a Bonobo member acts in ways that are not in accordance with our culture and values, or even if someone just creeps you out, please report the incident to an angel or party host. We also encourage you to file an incident report online at

Incident reports aren't just for consent violations at Bonobo events. If people are behaving in the ways described above outside of parties, it can be helpful for us to know.

»»» Bonobo Network Principles

What began as a series of small parties in Summer 2010 has grown into a community that has served 3,000 people around the Bay Area and the world. Our community is united by the following principles, which inform how we orient towards the spaces we share and how we treat one another:

High Possibility, Low Expectation: Our communities are best when they're treated as high possibility, low expectation spaces. That means two things: first, that all kinds of awesome sexy interactions are possible, but that no one should be expected to interact with you in any particular way. No one owes you anything. Second, we often attend these events with an expectation of the type or quality of experience we should have. While anything is possible, you'll probably have a much better experience if you lose those expectations of yourself and open yourself up to the abundance of connection of all kinds available to you at the party. Low expectation DOES NOT mean "low desire" – we believe it's helpful to have a well-explored and articulated sense of what you want and to hold those desires lightly.

Trust and Integrity: Parties like ours are built on trust – that's what allows us to be as open and welcoming and vulnerable as we can be inside those spaces. But this requires that we all show up in full integrity, pledging to be our most trustworthy. Three important implications of this : keep the identities of folks at our events confidential, proactively disclose relevant safer sex risks, and take exquisite care of the venues, spaces, and neighborhood ecosystems that host us.

Consent: We agree that we will only physically engage with one another, including nonsexual touch, where there is CLEAR CONSENT. We define consent as an ongoing collaboration between two or more people in constant verbal, physical, and emotional dialogue about what each other needs to safely, willingly, and pleasurably interact with one another. Gold standard consent in Bonobo Network is affirmative, informed, unpressured, specific, competently given, and ongoing. Respecting and valuing consent isn't just about preventing violations that shred trust -- it's also about making sure that everyone has as much space as they need to fully occupy their yes. Please read our Consent and Accountability Policy ( for more details on how we approach consent and accountability.

High Challenge, High Support: Play parties can be challenging and emotionally complex, even for seasoned veterans. We’re committed to making the play parties we throw high challenge, high support environments. We come together to celebrate and play at our edges. To fully support that endeavor, we provide a dedicated nonsexual space at each party for folks who need to get away from the intensity of the gathering. It means recruiting a team of angels who are available to provide counseling and social support throughout the party. And it means encouraging everyone who attends to commit to being an angel for everyone around them.

Here's a guide to have a pre-party conversation with your sweetie(s) to make your party go smoothly for both of you:

Everyone Contributes: Parties like this are never the work of a single organizer -- it takes the participation and contribution of a host of people. Everyone who attends is expected to co-create the party: money, time, energy, enthusiasm, work, intention, example, concern and/or awareness.

Inclusion: We are dedicated to fostering inclusion in our community. No matter your race, ethnicity, gender identity, or class background, we want everyone who participates in this community to understand that they belong here, and that they have as much of a stake in what happens here as anyone else does. While we recognize that everyone is on a learning curve when it comes to learning how to foster such an atmosphere, we also commit to a stance of learning -- and supporting one another's learning -- of how to be excellent to one another.

This is a dynamic list, ever growing, changing, and deepening as this grand experiment in connection continues. Thanks to you all for playing mad scientist with us.

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