Bonobo Network presents: Queergasm: Potion No. 69

🗓️ Date: Saturday, October 11th 2025 7pm-2am

📍 Location: Oakland, address will be released to ticket holders

SAVE THE DATE! TICKET LAUNCH THURSDAY September 18th at 7pm

GET TICKETS HERE: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/bonobo-network-presents-queergasm-potion-no-9-tickets-1645495002849?aff=oddtdtcreator

Agenda

7:00 PM - 9:30 PM Doors open

NOTE: No entry after opening circle without permission from hosts. Email info@bonobonetwork.com if you think you may need to join late.

7:30 PM - 8:30 PM Playshop: TBA

9:15 PM - 10:00 PM Opening Circle

[NOTE: No entry after opening circle without permission from hosts. Email info@bonobonetwork.com if you think you may need to join late.]

1:30 AM - 2:00 AM Closing Circle

Closing Circle is a time for us to share our experience, ecstatic or hard, to be seen, known, and normalize that these events are a full spectrum experience for everyone.

About this event

The cauldron bubbles, the smoke curls, and the night hums with magic. Step into our queer coven where spells of desire are cast and every potion promises new delights. Under the glow of neon moons and shimmering candles, you’ll find yourself surrounded by witches, warlocks, and familiars of every flavor—stirring up trouble, mischief, and passion.

This is no ordinary gathering. It’s a night where queer enchantment takes center stage, where bodies move like incantations, and laughter mingles with moans in the air. The dance floor is a ritual circle, the dungeon a bubbling cauldron of sensation, and every corner an invitation to taste, to touch, to be transformed.

Come dressed in your witchy best—velvet cloaks, spellbound lingerie, glittering pentacles, or nothing but your raw magic. Sip our crafted elixirs, whisper secrets over bubbling brews, and let yourself be swept into the queerest, kinkiest coven you’ve ever known.

Because this isn’t just a party.This is Potion No. 69—a concoction of lust, laughter, and liberation that could only be brewed by Queergasm.

»»» What is Queergasm?

Queergasm is our ongoing party for queer folks. It's only open to queer people. That's because we want to create a space where queerness is not just welcomed or tolerated, but centered and celebrated.

For our purposes, if you identify as queer, this party is for you. No one will be checking your queer card. You are queer enough. If you are questioning or exploring if you might be queer or fall somewhere under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are welcome to attend Queergasm as you explore if you might identify as queer.

This party is for people with all levels of experience, from the merely curious or questioning to the most experienced swingers; from the decidedly monogamous to the most committed polyamorists. Under the umbrella of queerness, we welcome people representing every sexual preference, gender expression, and body type. None of us are getting free until we all get free.

»»» Queergasm is Now Using the PAL System!

We’re excited to announce that Queergasm will now be using the PAL system, which will allow more queer folks to get a taste of our community.

PAL stands for Pervy Activity Liaison (thanks to Polly Superstar of Kinky Salon and Mission Control for the term.) A PAL is a trusted friend (doesn’t have to be a date) who attends an event with you. PALs are responsible for each others’ behavior – if someone behaves in a way that negatively impacts the space, it reflects poorly on all of the PALs. And if we ask someone to leave an event for any reason, their PALs must exit as well. In this way, it not only ensures that people who are new to the community have a social anchor, it also ensures that everyone feels accountable to someone, which tends to encourage great behavior.Who Needs a PAL for Queergasm?

1. Active Bonobo members do NOT need a PAL. You’re welcome to attend solo if you would like.
2. Non-members MUST have a PAL to attend – even if you were previously a member.
3. Two non-members CAN be each other’s PALs as long as they know and trust each other.

PAL Guidelines:

1. Arrive & leave with a trusted friend (not necessarily a date).
2. Your PAL can be of any gender, a couple, or a group—as long as you all agree to be responsible for each other.
3. You are responsible for your PAL’s behavior, and they are responsible for yours.
4. You must know and trust your PAL—you cannot PAL with a stranger.If either of you violate consent or event agreements, both of you will be held accountable.

PAL Frequently Asked Questions

»»» Activities

The cauldron is still bubbling, and our coven is hard at work conjuring up the night’s delights. From enchanted games to wickedly queer rituals of pleasure, a full list of activities will be revealed soon.

»»» Playshop

Before the cauldron fully bubbles over, we’ll gather for a spell of connection and discovery. Our opening playshop will help weave the circle, enchant the vibe, and stir your senses in preparation for the night ahead. Details are still brewing, so keep your eyes on the crystal ball—the playshop reveal is coming soon. ✨

»»» MUSIC

The soundtrack to our spell is still being conjured. Soon, our coven of DJs will be revealed—ready to spin potions of bass, beats, and queer magic that will keep your bodies moving ‘til the witching hour. Stay tuned as we lift the veil on who’s stirring the cauldron behind the decks… 🧪✨🌙

»»» Dress to Impress

Step into the coven dressed to enchant—velvet cloaks, corsets, fishnets, lace, pointy hats, and glittering pentacles are all welcome under the witch’s moon. Think potion-inspired colors like deep purples, glowing greens, midnight black, and shimmering silver, or lean into enchanted rave wear with neon glow and glam witch couture. Whether you arrive in lingerie that feels spellbound or as the raw magical creature you already are, come dressed to seduce, bewitch, and stir the cauldron of Potion No. 69.

When you’re on the street: Please DO NOT dress like you're going to a giant sex party!

»»» Connect on Plura (FKA Bloom)

Want to see who's going, match, chat, and meet the community? Check out the event on Plura Community (FKA Bloom)

»»» Venue Accessibility

We regret to inform you that this venue space is not fully wheelchair-friendly. While the first floor is accessible, there are stairs leading to other areas of the venue, which may pose a challenge for individuals with mobility impairments. Additionally, please be aware that the bathrooms and showers are not equipped with wheelchair-accessible facilities. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and are committed to making accommodations wherever possible. If you have specific accessibility needs or require further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact us in advance, and we will do our utmost to assist you. The venue has implemented several COVID precautions for your safety. Each room is equipped with air purifiers, and we have a spacious outdoor area with seating available in the garden.

»»» Inviting your friends

Want to invite a friend to this or future parties? Great! They'll need to become a member. Invite them to learn more about us and apply at https://bonobonetwork.com/apply

If you know someone really well, you can let us know that by endorsing their application. The standard for endorsement is high, as is the bar for membership. Your friends should FULLY understand Bonobo Network's culture, especially around consent.

Who we're looking for:

1. They should be broadly familiar with their boundaries and be able to set boundaries with others.
2. They should be able to resolve conflicts gracefully, generously, and empathetically.
3. They're someone you trust to be accountable to you and to this community.
4. Ideally, you trust them implicitly, and you would either play with them yourself or recommend that your friends play with them at the party.
5. You would feel comfortable staking your reputation on their being a good fit for our community. (NOTE: This is different from feeling confident that they would enjoy themselves or get something out of the experience.)

»»» Volunteering

Volunteering is a great way to meet other Bonobos, and volunteer tickets have discounts baked into them as a thank you for your contribution. Available roles include:

Pre-Party

1. Truck loading (90 minutes before the party)

During Party

1. Setup (Saturday 5pm - 7pm Pre-party)
2. Food Support (90 minutes at the beginning of the party)
3. Greeting (90 minute shifts before and during party)
4. Angel Crew (60 minute shifts during party)
5. Kitchen/Cleaning (60 minute shifts during party)
6. Strike (60 minute shift at end of party, 1am - 2am)

Post-Party

1. Truck unload (90 minutes, day after the party)

»»» Covid Policy

We no longer have a vaccination requirement. You can find our official Covid Policy here

Your COVID testing options are:

1. Present a timestamped photo of a covid rapid antigen test taken the day of the event at the door. (VASTLY PREFERRED OPTION)
2. Bring your own COVID test to take on site. If you use this option, please wear a mask into the venue. There will be a limited supply of rapid tests available for purchase - PLEASE BRING YOUR OWN.
3. Buy a COVID test at the time you buy your ticket or on-site.

If you need to take a covid test onsite, you must wear a mask.

»»» Incident Reporting

If your boundaries are crossed at the party, if a Bonobo member acts in ways that are not in accordance with our culture and values, or even if someone just kinda creeps you out, please report the incident to an angel or party host. We also encourage you to file an incident report online at http://bit.ly/bonoboincidentreport.

Incident reports aren't just for consent violations at Bonobo events. If people are behaving in the ways described above outside of parties, it can be helpful for organizers to know.

»»» Registration + Tickets

Tickets for our standard members will be on a sliding scale starting at $65.

Tickets will be on a sliding scale starting at $55 for PrimeMates, our premium members. [PRIMEMATE MEMBERS: You have a special code that you received when you became a member. Use that for your discount.]

IMPORTANT!

If you're purchasing more than one ticket, please make sure each individual attending is named!

Our Ticketing Pricing Policy - Updated 7.24.24

***NOTAFLOF Tickets - Action Required (see below)

As we continue to grow and create memorable experiences together, we want to share some important updates regarding the way we manage tickets for our events. Thank you for your feedback about access to tickets and creating ease around ticket transfers. We hope these changes provide a lot better user experience. We are also providing clearer guidelines about use of NOTOFLOF codes and a new request system for those who use those codes.

Supporting Our Community: No One Turned Away for Lack Of Funds (NOTAFLOF) Changes

NOTAFLOF Codes by Request Only

We will be changing the NOTAFLOF codes for each party. Please use this the form below before the event to request a NOTAFLOF discount code. You can then apply this code on the day of the ticket drop.

Request a NOTAFLOF discount code here

We are committed to inclusivity and accessibility. Our sliding scale tiket pricing remains in place to support those with financial hardship while allowing those with greater means to contribute more. This helps us uphold our No One Turned Away For Lack Of Funds (NOTAFLOF) policy. We would like to offer some examples of what code to use based on need.

25% Off: For those with moderate financial needs. Examples might include:

1. Individuals supporting a dependent.
2. Those with some medical expenses not covered by insurance.
3. Individuals who have periodic financial difficulties but can generally manage their expenses.

50% Off: For those with significant financial constraints. Examples might include:

1. Individuals with significant debt or loans.
2. Those who receive public assistance or unemployment benefits.
3. People with substantial immigration-related expenses.

75% Off: For those with severe financial hardship. Examples might include:

1. Single parents or guardians with no additional financial support.
2. Those with limited income or support.
3. Individuals with large, ongoing medical expenses or disabilities.
4. Unpaid community organizers with no disposable income.

Waitlists:

We are experimenting with a prototype waitlist system. Before requesting a refund, please check the waitlist to see if someone else can take your spot.

While we are working on a better system, we will use a spreadsheet for the waitlist. You can find the link to the waitlist spreadsheet in the Eventbrite event description.

We also want to extend our gratitude to the community members who have been managing this on their own for the last few parties. Your efforts have been invaluable, and we are thrilled to implement a more formal process on our end. We’re also grateful to the handful of community members that are currently volunteering their time to help us design a better waitlist!

Please use the waitlist spreadsheet to sell your ticket, including volunteer tickets. Our Volunteer No Show Policy is now in effect for all parties

Ticket transfers: You can update the info on eventbrite yourself or email info@bonobonetwork.com with the new ticket holder first and last name, email address and phone number. If transferring after final details email and volunteer emails have come out, please forward these communications

Refund Policy:

1. We are still working on the details of our official refund policy, including the specifics of our Covid refund policy. Stay tuned for more updates soon.

Thank you for being a part of our community and for your understanding as we experiment and implement these changes.

»»» Bonobo Network Principles

What began as a series of small parties in Summer 2010 has grown into a community that has served 3,000 people around the Bay Area and the world. Our community is united by the following principles, which inform how we orient towards the spaces we share and how we treat one another:

High Possibility, Low Expectation: Our communities are best when they're treated as high possibility, low expectation spaces. That means two things: first, that all kinds of awesome sexy interactions are possible, but that no one should be expected to interact with you in any particular way. No one owes you anything. Second, we often attend these events with an expectation of the type or quality of experience we should have. While anything is possible, you'll probably have a much better experience if you lose those expectations of yourself and open yourself up to the abundance of connection of all kinds available to you at the party. Low expectation DOES NOT mean "low desire" – we believe it's helpful to have a well-explored and articulated sense of what you want and to hold those desires lightly.

Trust and Integrity: Parties like ours are built on trust – that's what allows us to be as open and welcoming and vulnerable as we can be inside those spaces. But this requires that we all show up in full integrity, pledging to be our most trustworthy. Three important implications of this : keep the identities of folks at our events confidential, proactively disclose relevant safer sex risks, and take exquisite care of the venues, spaces, and neighborhood ecosystems that host us.

Consent: We agree that we will only physically engage with one another, including nonsexual touch, where there is CLEAR CONSENT. We define consent as an ongoing collaboration between two or more people in constant verbal, physical, and emotional dialogue about what each other needs to safely, willingly, and pleasurably interact with one another. Gold standard consent in Bonobo Network is affirmative, informed, unpressured, specific, competently given, and ongoing. Respecting and valuing consent isn't just about preventing violations that shred trust -- it's also about making sure that everyone has as much space as they need to fully occupy their yes. Please read our Consent and Accountability Policy (https://bit.ly/bonoboconsentpolicy) for more details on how we approach consent and accountability.

High Challenge, High Support: Play parties can be challenging and emotionally complex, even for seasoned veterans. We’re committed to making the play parties we throw high challenge, high support environments. We come together to celebrate and play at our edges. To fully support that endeavor, we provide a dedicated nonsexual space at each party for folks who need to get away from the intensity of the gathering. It means recruiting a team of angels who are available to provide counseling and social support throughout the party. And it means encouraging everyone who attends to commit to being an angel for everyone around them.

H ere's a guide to have a pre-party conversation with your sweetie(s) to make your party go smoothly for both of you: https://bit.ly/beingpartyready

Everyone Contributes: Parties like this are never the work of a single organizer -- it takes the participation and contribution of a host of people. Everyone who attends is expected to co-create the party: money, time, energy, enthusiasm, work, intention, example, concern and/or awareness.

Inclusion: We are dedicated to fostering inclusion in our community. No matter your race, ethnicity, gender identity, or class background, we want everyone who participates in this community to understand that they belong here, and that they have as much of a stake in what happens here as anyone else does. While we recognize that everyone is on a learning curve when it comes to learning how to foster such an atmosphere, we also commit to a stance of learning -- and supporting one another's learning -- of how to be excellent to one another.

This is a dynamic list, ever growing, changing, and deepening as this grand experiment in connection continues. Thanks to you all for playing mad scientist with us.