Radical Intimacy: ENM Potluck Discussion

Radical Intimacy is a discussion-forward gathering devoted to open conversations about sex, intimacy, kink, desire, consent, ethical nonmonogamy and related topics. Rooted in curiosity and care, this space invites you to explore how these things can be practiced with integrity, courage, and mutual respect.

Through topic prompts and shared reflection, Radical Intimacy centers communication over performance and consent over assumption; this is a space for asking real questions, naming complexity, and learning together, whether you’re deeply experienced or thoughtfully curious.

Radical Intimacy is open to all who value transparency, accountability, and intentional relating, whether you’re in a relationship where these topics apply currently or not.

Community guidelines:

Respect

There are many people, relationship styles and philosophies, gender and sexual expressions and life experiences. You don’t have to agree with someone’s perspective or preference, but you do need to be kind and respect their right to hold a different value or opinion.

Nutshell: Be kind, accept difference.

Consent

Before you touch anyone or their belongings, you must ask. This includes sitting next to someone if close.

For the purposes of consent at these events, ‘yes’ means yes.

Any of these responses should be translated as a ‘no’: silence, maybe, shaking head or ‘no’.

The ‘Drop and Run’: If there is a hesitation in response, it may be a soft no, or it may be that the person is thinking about their answer or desires. If hesitation happens, say something like “I see that there’s hesitation. No pressure here, let me know if you’d like to consent to that and if not, no worries.” Then walk away.

What is shared in the discussion groups also requires consent to be shared outside of discussion groups and in the wider world. Please do not name people and their content, or engage in ‘outing’ someone (giving vanilla life details without consent, sharing given names if aliases are used, talking about someone’s kinks they shared in group without asking etc).

Nutshell: Be clear about yes and no responses and what these look like in the context of the event. If you’re not sure, ask the host. Do not share information talked about outside the event to preserve privacy unless given permission.

Conversation Highlighters

Some topics we discuss are raw, unfiltered, sensitive, vulnerable, raunchy and explicit. Different people will have different comfort levels with different topics or level of engagement and detail. Think about the topic you are going to talk about and assess whether it might be good to give a heads up about content.

Examples could be “I’d like to talk about needle play” or “I’ve got a really important question, and the context is about consensual non consent.”

Sexy Time Rules

There are two different events held by Radical Intimacy: a discussion potluck and an intimacy container (aka a play party with intentionality and community inherent).

Potlucks DO NOT HAVE sex or sexual nudity on the menu; these are clothed events that focus on the discussion of intimacy and related topics.

Intimacy Containers are spaces where sexuality is welcomed, as are kinks, curiousity, connection, intimacy, nudity (sexual or non sexual).

Nutshell: Potlucks are non sexy, Intimacy Containers welcome sexy time.

Housekeeping things for you to know:

There are no indoor pets at this address. There are chickens contained in the backyard.

Safer sex supplies are provided for Intimacy Container events (NOT potlucks) including dental dams, condoms (latex and non latex), nitrile gloves, puppy pads, lysol wipes, clean up towels, lubricant.

There is on street parking at the address, usually spots are easy to find.

There are two steps into the venue via all entrances, no railings provided but hosts are more than happy to offer assistance if contacted before the event.

Dress code: For potlucks, just your every day wear.

For Intimacy Containers, wear what makes you feel confident, sexy, sensual, or comfortable. Please be considerate of our relationship with our neighbors and wear street appropriate clothing until you are INSIDE the address.

Use of Drugs and Alcohol

At potluck discussions, tobacco and marijuana are allowed outside only, away from the main house; no other drugs or alcohol are allowed. Please do not attend under the influence of any recreational substance.

At Intimacy Containers, we allow the use of alcohol and recreational drugs under the following conditions:

You must disclose use and current state of intoxication before engaging in any activity that involves play or sex.

You must not use in a way that impacts other non consensually (e.g. secondhand highs) or negatively (e.g. loud, boisterous conversation near intimate scenes, lack of awareness of consent, throwing up in shared spaces etc).

You must be responsible for your own wellbeing and/or organize someone to be responsible for you while under the influence.

We encourage those using substances to be responsible, thoughtful and contained in their use and reserve the right to ask anyone to leave for any reason.

Food

For potlucks: Please bring food! Home made or store bought are both welcome. A variety of foods is always good: vegetarian, gluten free, low sugar options are often enjoyed, and hearty, filling foods are always first to go. You can co-ordinate in the Plura chat what you are bringing in the days before the event if you like.

Note: You will need to take leftovers home unless the host agrees to keep them, or you can find someone else to be responsible for them.

For Intimacy Containers: Snacks and non alcoholic beverages are provided by the hosts. These often include charcuterie, fruits, cakes or pastries and hors d’ouevres (small bites like mini quiche, pigs in blankets, samosas and other appetizers). There are always vegetarian, gluten free and low sugar options available.

Structure

For potluck discussions, the structure will generally be as follows:

One hour to arrive, eat, socialize

Fifteen minutes for housekeeping and opening the space together

One hour for discussion groups

Fifteen minutes for a closing circle

One hour+ (depending on host availability and schedule) for socializing

For Intimacy Containers, the structure will generally be as follows:

One hour to arrive, eat, settle in.

Thirty minutes for housekeeping and expectation setting, stepping into intentionality and

Around 4 hours (this will vary based on time event started, host energy and other factors) of play and social time.

Healthy Communities

You may be asked to COVID test upon arrival at or before the event. This is dependent on local wastewater data and the hosts’ discretion. The requirement will be the same for all attendees but may differ from event to event (for example, one potluck may ask attendees to test, while a party a week later may not). Please note if this is a requirement at each event you sign up to attend. If you are not able to provide your own tests, hosts will have a limited supply available.

Tickets

If you need support with ticket purchasing due to financial hardship, please use the code 'jointhechat' for a free ticket.