Sexual Bereavement - Queer Death Salon

Let’s gather and engage with our questions and feelings about:

1. sex after the death of a loved one.
2. the disenfranchised grief of polyamorous and kinky relational loss.
3. how pleasure and erotic energy can support our mourning.
4. changes in desire as death approaches for ourselves or a loved one.
5. cultural expectations of how a widow should act and our internalized stories about that.
6. anything sex/pleasure and bereavement related. No question is too taboo.

Jess will invite folks to participate in embodiment exercises, freewrite and consider the ways they want to be in relationship to their sexual expression within their (anticipatory) grief.

Attendees are welcome to participate to their level of comfort. This means cameras can be on or off, people can unmute to speak, raise their hand to be called on, participate through chat, or simply listen in after the intro portion. Queer Death Salons are not recorded.

The suggested donation is $30. To help figure out how much of a donation is accessible for you, and supports guest facilitators, check out this guide: https://tinyurl.com/slidingscaleguide

Queer Death Salon is hosted by Queer Community Deathcare.

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Jess DeVries is a queer somatic sex coach and grief worker. She primarily serves the queer/trans community supporting folks in reclaiming body autonomy and to inspire curiosity about pleasure and sexual expression, guiding folks to define and pursue pleasure on their own terms. She is a grief advocate who regularly facilitates spaces for people to grieve, inviting the wisdom of the body to guide the grief process.

Within the realms of grief, she has trained with Being Here, Human - as well as - Shauna Janz of Sacred Grief. Her grief work is held by connections to her ancestors, mugwort, hawthorne, rose, connection to her pussy, and many many tears. Within the realms of pleasure and embodiment, she has trained in Somatic Sex Education and Sexological Bodywork at the ISSSE - as well as - the Somatica Method with the Somatica Institute. Her pleasure work is held by delighting in sights, smells, and tastes, a dirty imagination, and sharing touch with human and non-human kin.

Jess provides 1:1 sessions online or by phone. She also facilitates workshops, grief circles, and rituals online for queer folks, ex-Christians, and Covid realist communities.

Agreements for participation:

This is a space where we intentionally come together to discuss all aspects about death, dying, and grief. Global events, personal histories, and intimate details of our lives may come up and may bring strong emotions. Participants are encouraged to do what they need for themselves in these situations.

Racism, homophobia, xenophobia, transphobia, antisemitism, ableism, and any other form of prejudice against a person or way of life will not be tolerated. Anyone engaging in prejudice towards another group member will be subject to immediate removal.

We are curious, open, and respectful - We assume good will, ask questions, and allow space for different experiences and points of view

We take care of ourselves - We stretch, take a break, eat, mute for a bit, drink, use restroom, connect with a friend, rest, call it a nights, etc.

We keep confidentiality - We speak from personal experience and take home learnings while taking care not to identify anyone other than oneself.

We use inclusive language - We speak using plain language and ask clarifying questions when we aren't sure what someone means. We take effort to use gender-neutral language as appropriate.

We are all here because we want and choose to be here - We are free to leave at any time, for any reason.