Study Club February: Intentional Escalations and Considerate De-Escalation

Are you looking to learn new skills to help you build better non-monogamous relationships? Do you want to get new ideas and perspectives from other ENM folks on the challenges you are facing? Are you excited to nerd out about relationships? Join us!

Let’s learn together via a monthly, group-driven discussion. Each month we’ll look up resources pertaining to an ENM topic: readings, podcasts, even Reddit threads, and unpack what we’ve found. At the end we will take suggestions for next month's topic. Think of a cross between a book club and a support group; we’ll seek out new tools and techniques relevant to the attendees’ challenges.

We meet at 7 PM on the first Tuesday of each month. If you can't make the in-person event, you can attend remotely. Everyone is welcome, regardless of familiarity with non-monogamy. A $8 donation is suggested, but NOTAFLOF.

Topic (February 2026)

The metaphor of a “Relationship Escalator” encapsulates the assumed synchronicity of increasing intimacy across multiple possible areas: co-habitation, starting a family, combined finances, sex, and more. This month let’s discuss two aspects of life off the escalator: intentionally choosing potentially disparate, unrelated activities for escalation, and also thoughtful, considerate, and deliberate de-escalation.

Resources (suggest links and I'll edit them into this list!):

1. https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/the-relationship-anarchy-smorgasbord
2. "More Than Two" 2nd Ed. Section 3.13, "Empowered Relationships"
3. "More Than Two" 2nd Ed. Section 4.21, "Relationship Transitions"
4. Multiamory ep 339, "The Smogasbord of Relationships" https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/339-the-smorgasbord-of-relationships

You may notice a strong association between the smorgasbord material and relationship anarchy. I don't mean to imply that one must be RA to use the smorgasbord. I think of it as a discussion tool for starting granular dialogue about desires and finding overlaps.

Getting There

Park anywhere on the street (please do not use EBCS's parking spots). We are in the Telegraph Room; enter on Telegraph just south of 55th.

Feedback

You may send us feedback via the following:

1. Our feedback form
2. enmstudyclub@gmail.com

Safety and Privacy

These events are intended to encourage safe, honest, and vulnerable conversation between strangers. Keep identifying info or personal stories within the group. Participants are encouraged to exercise best judgment and speak up for best standards around homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, xenophobia, racism, and all manner of otherings.

This is not a place to cruise for hookups. No jerks.