Sustainable Intimacy: Reignite the Flame for the Long Game

To avoid extra ticket fees, you can also send payment via Zelle to alisonashphd@turnon.love and send an email to confirm receipt

Ready to fuel your intimacy—whether you're bringing the spark back or turning up the heat?

Navigating mismatched libidos, feeling stuck in routines, or just craving more playfulness and pleasure are natural parts of growing together over time. In long-term relationships, it’s common to feel desire ebb and flow, to relate to sex like it’s a chore, or to quietly build up feelings of rejection or resentment. Even loving, connected couples can struggle with differences in desires, changing needs, or the pressures of daily life crowding out time for intimacy.

Whether you're looking to rekindle passion or simply carve out meaningful time to nourish your relationship, this 3-night, 4-day retreat offers a spacious and supportive container to deepen intimacy. In a warm, welcoming, and nonjudgmental space, you’ll uncover what might be getting in the way of intimacy—and discover customized tools to support your unique dynamic.

Through guided exercises, playful exploration, and enriching conversations, you’ll be invited on a sensual journey to renew desire, expand your erotic potential, and strengthen the emotional and physical bonds between you. This retreat is a chance to slow down, savor each other, and co-create a relationship that feels vibrant, passionate, and deeply rooted.

In this experiential course, you will:

1. Uncover the various libido blockers that get in the way of your turn on, pleasure, and intimacy and receive the tools and skills that will help you overcome them together
2. Break free of anxious-avoidant dynamics, cohabitator-coparent roles, and the pressure-rejection cycle and practice tuning into your feelings and needs
3. Explore how to flirt and offer tailor-made verbal, physical, and romantic bids for intimacy that make your partner feel desired and seduced
4. Discover how to create fun and exciting intimacy dates with a menu of ways to authentically connect without pressure by attuning to the rightness of the moment
5. Acquire an array of practices that will support you to rediscover your desire and increase your capacity for giving and receiving fulfilling pleasure

You’ll also have the opportunity to:

1. Eat delicious, local food that meets most dietary restrictions
2. Lounge in a big, beautiful heated pool and hot tub and immerse in nourishing nature
3. Rest in hammocks under the trees and take in stunning vistas on hillside swings
4. Explore the trail system that winds through the property
5. Take movement and mindfulness classes
6. Take a bonus workshop on romantic, passionate, and dominant touch
7. Participate in a sensual soiree
8. Receive additional group and couples coaching

You’ll receive the 35 page Sustainable Intimacy booklet that will support you to:

1. Identify your specific intimacy blockers including pressure, insecurities, shame, conflict, stress as well as the skills needed to overcome them.
2. Engage in self-reflection exercises designed to foster a deeper understanding of your desires, needs, and fears.
3. Use the informational handouts to easily refer back to and remember the concepts, activities, and tools shared.
4. Select and record the specific practices and techniques that will empower you to continue to nurture your intimacy.

Location, Lodging, & Schedule

Discover this peaceful retreat 1 hour from San Francisco nestled in the treetops of Sonoma wine country, where breathtaking nature meets modern chic design and amenities. The outdoor space includes hiking trails spanning 10 secluded acres with swings, camping hammocks, meadows, and stunning panoramic vistas.​ The house combines luxury & mid-century charm with a heated pool and hot tub, 3 wood burning fireplaces and a fireside conversation pit, 5 remodeled bathrooms, 2 sunlit cozy living rooms, and a large event space. EV charging is available for folks who arrive with electric vehicles. Camper vans and small RVs welcome.

There are options for camping, glamping, and gorgeous private rooms, including one that has a private sauna and soaking tub overlooking the woods! Check out the detailed schedule, photos of the property and lodging options, and more!

Reviews

"This year marks our 25th anniversary, and we've never been to a couple's retreat before. But, we had attended other excellent courses with Dr. Aly, so we knew we were in good hands. The weekend was the perfect balance of classes, time in the idyllic Sonoma County setting, rest and reflection, and getting to know the other couples. We especially enjoyed that the harder relationship work regarding blocks to intimacy and how to handle them was tempered with fun, sexy classes. We came away with new knowledge and tools for keeping the flame alive in our relationship for many years into the future. " - B.H.

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"My partner and I have been so caught up in parenting, work and life that we had started to feel more like coworkers than in a relationship. We left the workshop feeling more connected both emotionally and sexually and also so much clearer about what caused us to fall into that rut and how to avoid it moving forward. We wholeheartedly recommend this course!" - S. M.

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"We have tried so many things that haven’t worked and I can honestly say this was the profound reset for our relationship that I had started to question if it was even possible. I am so grateful to Dr. Aly and Seb for their assistance, humor, and thoughtfulness in the ways they made the material so accessible and applicable." - C. T.

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"This workshop gave us the traction we’ve been hungry for in a way that feels authentic, accessible and real. We know what we need to work on and what each of us can do to show up more fully for the other. We already feel so much closer and are excited to continue to put this into action so we can maintain our intimacy." - J. J.

Instructor Bios

Dr. Alison Ash, aka Dr. Aly, is a trauma-informed sex and intimacy coach and educator, Stanford University Lecturer, author, and founder of TurnON.love. As a sociologist with a PhD from Stanford, she has a comprehensive understanding of the complex societal challenges that often lead to unsatisfying and disempowering sexual experiences. She designs workshops, courses, and retreats and offers individuals and couples coaching to give others the tools to discover their desires and confidently pursue them.

Dr. Aly is teaming up with her husband and intimacy coach, Sebastian Clarke. In their coaching practice, they frequently work with couples in long term relationships who are struggling to keep the spark alive. Through offering experiential practices, they support these couples to find new ways of being in connection with each other. Sebastian also has more than a decade of experience working with neurodivergent folks, supporting them to increase their capacity for healthy relating. In addition, he's a trauma-informed massage therapist specializing in nervous system regulation.

They invite you to TurnON pleasure, intimacy and love at www.TurnON.love and on Instagram and Facebook.

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Upcoming Workshops and Courses

Navigating Non-Monogamy: Level 1 (also available as an on-demand rental)

October 8th in Oakland

Exploring non-monogamy can feel overwhelming and even terrifying, but with the proper support and tools it can be exciting and empowering! Learn about the many ways to structure non-monogamy and examine how your values and needs influence which relationship styles will work best for you. Explore how to open up and find poly people to date. Discover the most common pitfalls and how to avoid them. Gain concrete tips that will help your relationship(s) survive and thrive. With these resources, suggestions, and tools, you’ll receive the support you need to explore ethical non-monogamy with greater clarity and ease!

Mastering Non-Monogamy: Level 2 (also available as an on-demand rental)

October 15th in Oakland

Empower yourself with the insights, skills, and tools you need to have secure and fulfilling non-monogamous relationships. Discover strategies for navigating jealousy and how to support a partner when they're feeling jealous. Examine power dynamics in and across various types of relationship structures, and learn how to empower all participants. Explore techniques for discussing fears and needs and negotiating agreements with lovers and partners. Gain tips for having healthy dynamics with metamours (your partners’ partners). Up level your ability to maintain multiple nourishing relationships!

How to Eat Pussy like a Champ (also available as an on-demand rental)

October 19th in Oakland

Discover the 5 central tenets to champ-quality pussy eating and receiving. You’ll learn about nerve pathways and the different kinds of orgasms possible, plus science-based techniques for exploring them. Gain tools to get out of your head, overcome awkwardness, explore preferences, give and elicit feedback, and maximize pleasure from giving and receiving. Explore a wide range of ways to mix it up, including different hand and oral techniques, positions, and toys. Participants will receive a Guide to My Pussy instruction manual to share with lover(s). Plus, there's a thorough live demo so you can see all the skills put into action. Both individuals and couples are welcome!

Executive Function in Neurodiverse Relationships (recording also available)

October 29th on Zoom

Many neurodivergent individuals and mixed neurotype couples struggle with executive function differences, including how to plan, prioritize, and manage the never-ending to-do list. These difficulties can create stress, leading to miscommunication and conflict, challenges with initiation and completion, and friction around different ways of doing things. We reframe these challenges as predictable patterns rather than personal shortcomings, offering practical strategies to work with neurological differences instead of against them. This workshop is designed for autistic and ADHD adults, single or partnered, and their loved ones.

Neurodiverse Love: Enhancing Emotional Intimacy (recording also available)

November 5th on Zoom

Do you ever get stuck in cycles of miscommunication, overwhelm, or shutdown when trying to connect? These challenges are common in neurodivergent relationships, and often exacerbated by catastrophizing, shame spirals, or rejection sensitivity. Learn how core neurodivergent experiences, including alexithymia, decision fatigue, sensory overload, burnout, and masking impact intimacy and trust. You’ll learn strategies to interrupt reactive patterns, feel emotions without overanalyzing, communicate through conflict, and support regulation while staying authentic. Leave with tools to reduce conflict and deepen trust. Ideal for autistic and ADHD individuals and their partners.

Ask the Sexpert: A Free Event

November 11th on Zoom

Got burning questions about sex and intimacy? Join Dr. Alison Ash for a free, hour-long Q&A on cultivating hot sex and thriving relationships. Topics may include consent and boundaries, nervous system care, emotional safety, flirting and seduction, maximizing pleasure, fantasies and shame, conflict repair, navigating relationship transitions, and more. This event also introduces her 8-week Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills Mastercourse starting January 27th.

Neurodiverse Sexuality: Enhancing Pleasure (recording also available)

November 12th on Zoom

Do you ever feel anxious about intimacy because it might lead to frustration, disappointment, or overwhelm? Many neurodivergent people struggle with attention, arousal, and sensory regulation during dating and sex, which can make moments meant to feel pleasurable feel stressful instead. Get practical tools to navigate intimacy with more confidence, compassion, and collaboration. You’ll explore how to communicate sensory needs, manage distraction, regulate arousal, and create novelty while maintaining connection. Leave with a personalized intimacy user manual, plus communication and regulation strategies to feel grounded, connected, and empowered.

Get Out of Your Head in Bed (also available as an on-demand rental)

December 9th in Oakland

Do you get stuck in your head worrying about your appearance, performance, orgasm, or just your overwhelming to-do list? Do you find yourself performing sex instead of experiencing it? Learning how to get out of your head and into your body is essential for reducing anxiety and maximizing pleasure in both solo and shared sexual experiences! Discover how to immerse in the sensations in your body and reconnect with your body as an instrument of pleasure. You'll receive actionable tips and skills that will help you get out of your head and become a more skilled lover while increasing your own capacity for pleasure!

Sleaze-Free Seduction Skills (also available as an on-demand rental)

January 13th, Oakland

Has flirting always felt awkward and anxiety-provoking? Tired of letting opportunities pass you by because you’re afraid to make a move? Whether you want to learn how to create new romantic connections or improve your ability to seduce your current lover(s), this workshop will help you figure out how get freaky without being creepy! Gain verbal and non-verbal skills for flirting and seduction and feel more confident initiating. Discover how to effectively escalate flirting and how to read body language to know if they’re receptive to your advances. Learn how to recover from failed flirting attempts and how to recalibrate so you can stay in connection.

Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills Mastercourse (recordings also available)

Tuesdays, January 27th-March 17th on Zoom

There are many reasons it can be hard to create a pleasure-filled sex life and emotionally-secure relationships. We all receive messages about who we are supposed to be, how we ought to feel, and how we should express ourselves, often enforced through shame, silence, and disconnection. This course features 8 live, virtual classes with a woven balance of science-based data, embodied exploration, and skills development designed to support you in creating, deepening, and sustaining sexual and emotional intimacy in your relationship(s). All classes feature a combo of lecture with optional breakout room discussions and experiential exercises plus extra time for questions and individualized support after. Supplemental materials include handouts, readings, and demo videos. Recordings available for those who can't attend live or want extra review. Check out the detailed curriculum, reviews, and more. Super early bird tickets available now for $200-$400 off

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Complete List of Workshops and Courses Available as On-Demand Rentals

Cultivating Your Pleasure

Feel Your Way To Yes

Free Your Fantasies

Get Out of Your Head In Bed

How to Be a Feminist in the Bedroom

How to Eat Pussy Like a Champ

How to Pick Your Person(s)

Navigating Non-Monogamy Level 1

Mastering Non-Monogamy Level 2

Refining Your Sexual Intuition

Repairing Ruptures in Relationships

Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills (8 week course for individuals and couples)

Sleaze-Free Seduction Skills

Sustainable Intimacy: Reignite the Flame for the Long Game (4 week course for couples)

The Ins and Outs of Play Parties

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