LA people, how can we help you? It’s been a very difficult week with so many people directly and indirectly impacted by the fires. The biggest thing that I’ve been hearing over and over again is how the community is coming together to support each other, people opening their home, heart, wallet, attention. There are literally thousands of GoFundMe’s and nonprofits, so I’ll avoid sharing specific ones and trust that you find the right avenue to support people in need. If you are in LA, Third Space Collective is hosting a community gathering TODAY that looks really interesting. PS- reminder that Plura has an LA Community Chat page, which is a great please to pop in and offer help or request help. Passing along the best advice I received when I lived through (still living through) being a Maui resident during the Lahaina fires in 2023: There is a very long process of recovery and healing ahead of everyone. People will need donations, support, and care in 3, 6, and 12 months. If you can, don’t over extend yourself completely on week one and have a plan to participate in recovery efforts for the long run. Note on Plura events: In the past week, we cancelled 3 LA and 1 online events because our educators have been impacted. If you are unclear about what’s happening with these events, reply to this email and I’ll get all your questions answered. | | |
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and this is my meme this newsletter. | | |
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Is anyone else feeling a intense sinking feeling of OMFG in their chest this week?! The fires, politics, tech companies pulling away from fact checking, tech companies allowing hate speech, also tech companies creating AI profiles that pretend to run donation drives, also tech execs saying companies need more masculine energy…but really, WTF is happening to the world that this is acceptable behavior? When I ask my “community elders” how to survive the new terrifying world that’s being built in front of me, they unanimously tell me that the future is in small community organizing and community support; “weave your life with a community of people, and as systems seize to operate, you will support eachother mentally, financially and physically.” This is starting to feel more crucial to do. When the AI profiles’ food drive doesn’t actually result in food being delivered to empty tables, your friends will be the ones showing up with pots overflowing with yumminess. |
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| | Community in an anti-social world Unfortunately, the need for more small-group organizing is met with systems that drive isolation. The Atlantic just published their cover story “The Anti-Social Century” with some terrifying data points: - Men who watch TV now spend seven hours in front of YouTube for every hour they spend with somebody outside their home.
- The typical female pet owner spends more time caring for her pet than she spends in face-to-face contact with friends of her own species.
- Today’s teenagers have fewer friends than previous generations, and they spend one out of every three minutes of waking life staring at a screen.
When I tell my 9Y kid about Plura’s mission to help people find friends and be less lonely, she’s utterly confused. Her world is designed to have community and friends- school, after school activities, birthday parties. It’s heartbreaking to think about how lonely we get shortly after we graduate. I invite you to commit yourself to finding your people in 2025. Start here: heyplura.com | | |
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Do you know about Fetlife? A while back, I was sitting at a bar, on a date, when the male-presenting stranger sitting next to me started a chitchat conversation. After we discussed the weather, the music, and politics, we moved into the next small talk topic- “what do you do for work?”. When I told this person that I was building a product that helps people find sex-positive communities, his eyes grew brighter and bigger, he leaned forward and whispered “do you know about fetlife?”. When I smiled and told him I definitely knew about fetlife, he continued “do you know that there are g@ngbAngs in my city?!?” and then “wow! I wonder what these are like… but my wife would never let me.. but I just want to go see what these are like, just see.. but, I can’t… I’m already 45 years and should just shove these fantasies down and forget about them..” That conversation really impacted me. First, I had so much empathy for this human, struggling to make sense of the tension between their desires and how society taught them they should feel and act at the “old age of 45”. Second, I was also delighted at the reminder that desire is a powerful force, we might be able to not act on our desires, but they will keep popping up and reminding us of their existence. Read more: Desire Smuggling. Finally, I was grateful that fetlife exists (and holding strong in the face of mass censorship). With all the challenges associated with this platform, it is a source of validation and belonging for so many people who discover that they are not the only humans in the world that have freaky desires. PS- Happy 17-year birthday to the kinky social media platform! (h/t Chet for bringing this to my attention on the Plura chats). | | |
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See you next weekish! Noa | | |
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Note: This newsletter represents my (Noa's) personal opinions and thoughts. I understand I may have unexamined views and I appreciate when people point them out so that I am made aware and can start thinking about them. When I make mistakes I am committed to learning about my impact on others and repairing. Contact me anytime: noa@heyplura.com |
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