Weekly Seeds | October 13, 2024 | A Test of A First-rate Intelligence

Atonement

I was a “never forgive, never forget” kind of person well into my 30s until Misha Bonaventura explained to me that forgiving was a gift to myself and helped me forgive (and almost forget) how my high school boyfriend cheated on me. Today, I’m better at letting go of others’ actions and making progress forgiving myself. Progress! In case you're working through repair and atonement this week, here are two amazing videos to inspire you to forgive and let go.

Both are true

Yesterday, on our drive to Santa Cruz, one of my partners quoted F. Scott Fitzgerald: “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”

This sentence beautifully summarizes my internal experience these days: a weird, mind-bending mesh of hope and hopelessness, inspiration and disillusionment, progress and regress. On the one hand, I see more loneliness, dissociation, and sex negativity (check out my email from last week). At the same time, I see more connection, belonging, inclusion, and self-expression. Both are true, and both are happening right now.

This newsletter is calling in a balanced prespective. 

People are overwhelmed, and also…

People are taking care of themselves. In the past weeks, two celebrities have modeled self-care. First, Chappell Roan canceled a few shows because she was overwhelmed and chose to prioritize her health. Then, Billie Eilish declared that she deleted all social media from her phone and said she was working on stopping using social media for external validation.

This gives me so much joy. After years where celebrities were pushed to work past their limits (bonus content: the documentaries about Avicii and Amy Winehouse), it’s so refreshing to see a new generation of famous people owning their boundaries.

And if your are inspired to try slowing down, and you live in the Bay Area, check out Underbelly: The Art of Slowing Down in Berkeley tomorrow.

People are more solo than they want, and also..

People are figuring out alternative setups. According to one TikTok and one Business Insider (paywall) article, “Lavender Marriages” are back. Lavender Marriages have historically referred to gay women and gay men getting married to leverage the societal, legal, and financial benefits that people gain when they are legally married. With the increase in single adulthood, and the increased cost of living, such setups might be a good solution for many people. If you want to learn more about alternative relationship systems, follow Modern Family Institute, attend the 2024 Community Living Exchange conference, and get inspired by NYT Modern Love stories (they are celebrating 20 years of stories this week!)

Developing healthcare solutions for women is extra difficult, and also…

Women are gaining access to some incredible healthcare solutions these days. Marci Foundation is running its annual fundraising season and collecting money in order to provide free surgical care that restores sexual function and dignity to survivors of Female Genital Mutilation / Cutting (FGM/C) worldwide. Dr Jasmine Pedroso's crew told me that 50% of their patients can orgasm for first time after the procedure! So incredible. Their fundraiser event happened yesterday (boo), but you can still donate through the link here.

Substance use is becoming a problem in many communities, and also..

It’s looking like US overdose deaths are significantly falling for the first time in decades. Researchers predict a 10%-20% drop, which could result in as many as 20,000 fewer deaths per year. This NPR article covers the likely reasons for the drop, including the widespread availability of NARCAN. Most cities offer free NARCAN, and they are really easy to use, and very effective, so regardless of your own drug use, you should consider having a few NARCANs around to be able to support people in your community.

Elections are dividing this country, and also…

You can still make an impact on how it pans out. Don’t forget to register to vote and get involved if you can.

Note: This newsletter represents my personal opinions and thoughts. I understand I may have unexamined views and I appreciate when people point them out so that I am made aware and can start thinking about them. When I make mistakes I am committed to learning about my impact on others and repairing. 

Contact me anytime: noa@heyplura.com