Weekly Seeds | August 11, 2024 | Focusing On What I Can Control

Focus on what you can control

Last September, I coined my 40th as my Year of Chaos. It felt like I was stepping onto a rollercoaster, controlled by external powers and people (and a lot of randomness), and was invited to stop fighting for control and enjoy the ride. As I wrap up the final month of Chaos, I am grateful for the amazing year of adventure, growth, surrender, and choice. Side note: this experience would probably push past my boundaries of surrender.

This week’s newsletter is dedicated to stories about operating within the boundaries of what we have control over.

Focus on what you can control: Plura (new feature!)

Plura has push notification issues. Somehow, sometimes, for some reason, our push notifications don’t make it to your phone. Because we cannot control your device notification system, we’ve decided to focus on fixing the problem within our app. NEW! Our latest app has a new tab- Activity- where you can access all your buds, events, and chat notifications. The activity feed tab is connected with every part of our app (interconnected, anyone?), meaning many potential buds could pop up. If you see any weird issues, email us at support@heyplura.com

Focus on what you can control: Canvassing in swing states.

Liz Planks maps out her genius strategy for convincing men in swing states to vote pro-choice. “On a mission to save democracy one flirty conversation at a time, I ventured out equipped with a cute outfit and a smile to engage in what I like to call “flirting canvassing” hitting up bars in swing states, striking up conversations with men, and using every bit of charm to convince them that voting pro-choice is not just a women’s issue—it’s about protecting their rights, too.” Flirt Canvassing looks like a great girlfriend adventure weekend. WDYT?

Focus on what you can control: Dealing with haters at the Olympics.

In 2024, athletes are asked to compete under constant judgment, criticism, and hate speech. Raven Saunders, who competed in mask and sunglasses earlier this week, talks about how these physical barriers help protect their mental health and nervous system, which allows them to focus. Yay for self-care! Also, shoutout to the Guardian, who awesomely called out Raven’s they/them pronouns.

Focus on what you can control: When you hurt others.

ICYMI, Simon Biles clapped back at MyKayla Skinner’s criticism of Team USA. The response from MyKayla Skinner was (1) blocking Biles (side note: can we stop avoiding conflict and get back to having crucial conversations?) and (2) posting an IG video of her “apologizing” and asking Biles to step in and end the feud. 

If you want to learn more about apologizing- join us tomorrow at our monthly free consent workshop with Dr. Hazel-Grace on The Art of REPAIR.

Focus on what you can control: What behaviors are you rewarding

I am so curious about Bumble’s next move! During Bumble’s quarterly earnings update, they noted that “Bumble’s subscription tiers will change to reward ‘positive peer behaviors’.” I have no clue what this means, but as someone who majored in behavioral economics, I am very interested in talking about this topic! As a company, how you build your products directly and indirectly motivates users and customers to behave in a specific way. When you’re a ride-hailing company that only gives promos after users churn, you may teach your riders to flip-flop between apps. When you’re a dating app that allows for ~3 sentences of copy, you may lead your users to swipe based on physical looks. Etc Etc. (plug for Thinking Fast and Slow and Noise).

I’m sure Plura has some features that unintentionally lead to negative habit cycles. But when we’re conscious of our design, we prioritize building products that incentivize people to attend events because we believe that attending events creates the highest chance of making connections and belonging. Related reading: You Can’t Innovate Away Loneliness.

Focus on what you can control: Women’s Health.

The CDC is guiding physicians to talk to women about pain management before IUD procedures. Because physicians don’t. Because physicians should. Because women are experiencing pain. And because there are ways to create significantly less physical and emotional pain in our medical procedures. Personally, I had to find a new OB-BYN this year. I was feeling the tension between going the easy route (i.e., whatever Kaiser found for me) and investing time and money to see a physician who was vetted by my friends and community. I went the high-investment route and am very grateful for my consent-forward experience.

Focus on what you can control: Psychedelics Medicine.

This week, the US FDA issued a letter noting it does not approve Lykos’s MDMA-assisted psychotherapy for PTSD. This is a pretty significant blow to the multi-decade-long process of legalizing MDMA-assisted therapy for people in the US.

In perfect timing, we’re hosting a workshop on Sex & Psychedelics this Thursday with James Belle Guest and Amory Jane. Amory (she/they)is a Sex Educator, licensed psychedelic facilitator, and the COO of Fractal Soul, a woman-owned legal psilocybin service center in Portland. James (she/her) is an Oregon-Licensed Psilocybin Facilitator, Somatic Intimacy, Pleasure & Sex Practitioner, and Co-creator of Sex & Psychedelics Magazine. PS- This workshop is free for Plura+ Members.

And with that.. I'm off to dance my morning away! 

Note: This newsletter represents my personal opinions and thoughts. I understand I may have unexamined views and I appreciate when people point them out so that I am made aware and can start thinking about them. When I make mistakes I am committed to learning about my impact on others and repairing. 

Contact me anytime: noa@heyplura.com