Weekly Seeds | September 15, 2024 | Would You Rather Be The Star

I turned 41 last week!  This year stretched me soooo hard, and I’m happy to report that I survived (even thrived) in the chaos. Thanks for journeying with me on my upcoming trip around the sun.

The Hungry Ghost

I am in NYC this week, but that doesn't matter because I'm going to miss out on all the fun things, and only focus on work and family. And despite arriving here after a week of travel and fun, I feel the pain of missing out so intensely!! Will “my cup” ever stay full for more than a moment?

So, in an attempt to live vicariously through you, Here are six events in NYC I wish I could attend this week. If you go to any of them, I welcome photos of you partying and making friends.

• Tuesday: Feeling Into ed 9: a poly life portrait / The Feels
• Wednesday: Hit Me Up Tie Me Down / Hit Me Up
• Thursday: Fresh Meet: Pink Pony Club / Space Invader Social
• Thursday: Cirque Du Squirt / Lola Jean
• Thursday: Queer Kiss and Cuddles / Pagans Paradise
• Thursday: HUMP! Amateur porn film fest, Brooklyn screening

Speaking of hungry ghosts, Fyre Festival II is rescheduled (4th time a charm?) for April 2025. I've been reflecting on the ways these exposé documentaries about criminals, cult leaders, and shady business people sometime end up growing their power. So disappointing. 

REAL (beauty)

I was blown away by my experience at the Sex Down South Conference (SDS) earlier this month. In addition to the knowledge and connections I picked up, I noticed how much I was impacted by the diversity I was surrounded by at the event. Sex Down South is led and heavily attended by powerful queer black femmes, which is very different from my community environment in Oakland and Maui. This impacted not only how the event was run and how people showed up in the space, but it also positively impacted my body image and sense of embodiment. (It also made me realize how much judgment I still hold about my body and the opportunity I have there.)

Related, shoutout to Ilona Maher for nudging Sports Illustrated to step away from mainstream media narratives (they feed into our brains) and celebrate her powerful, beautiful, sexy body on the cover of their publication. For more inspiration from this #beastbeautybrains, check out Ilona’s TikToks.

NOT-REAL (safe sex)

You know who I wouldn’t recommend sending a photo of your genitals to? A startup that claims that they will analyze a photo of your dick and clear you for STIs. Luckily both TechCrunch and The FTC are calling BS on this, but it doesn’t seem to stop the company from continuing to push forward. If you want a refresher on how complicated STIs are, check out Plura’s STI Symposium.

Who's the star and who's the groupie

I’m obsessed with Chappell Roan. Their music, outfits, vulnerability, and values-driven actions. Last week Roan recognized drag artists, gay and trans people during their speech at the VMA Awards last week. I can only imagine how special it is to be recognized and celebrated in this way.

Related to Chappell Roan’s VMA performance, I loved this video speculating how Chappell’s outfit is referencing Julie d’Aubigny and Joan of Arc.

About stardom 

I’m also obsessed with Devon Price’s substack (h/t Rachel Lark for sending me a post from them a while back). In their post last week, they cover “Chappell Roan, stalker stans, and how capitalism and social media conspire to turn human animals into products.” The article talks about how hard it is to operate in a world where you’re somewhat “famous”.

As a self-proclaimed groupie of many (artists, authors, organizers, and otherwise amazing humans) this felt slightly uncomfortable to read. Mostly, because it made me realize how uncomfortable I might be making the other’s feel. And as someone who’s recently started receiving the “Hey! I know you from my email!” greeting at events, Devon’s article made me ponder what kind of relationship I might want to have with my audience.

Gen Zers are dreaming about.. monogamy?

There are so many amazing gems inside The State of Dating report from Feeld and The Kinsey Institute. I want to highlight two:

• 81% of Gen Z report that they have fantasized about monogamy, and is nearly twice as likely to say that they have frequent fantasies about monogamy than older generations.
• Gen Zers are exploring their gender and sexuality at much higher rates than any past or current generation.

I have so many thoughts, but I’ll focus on my two main questions:

1/ Is Gen Z’s fantasy about monogamy coming from the limited lived experienced of long term monogamous relationships? What can we learn from this about what meaning they make about the benefit of Monogamy?

2/ Why do GenZers embrace the dominant cultural norm associated with relationship structures (monogamy) when they unanimously challenge it when it comes to gender expression and sexual preferences?

Here’s a clue to what might be happening… This Bloomberg article highlights that “dating recession,” with societal, psychological, economic and political implications. If a generation experiences more solo time and less social and romantic connection, I could see how they would seek a more structured attachment system.

Note: This newsletter represents my personal opinions and thoughts. I understand I may have unexamined views and I appreciate when people point them out so that I am made aware and can start thinking about them. When I make mistakes I am committed to learning about my impact on others and repairing. 

Contact me anytime: noa@heyplura.com