Single-serve interactions I’ve been hosting a monthly poly circle, Smorgasbord, for almost 3 years. This month, I chose the topic of one-night stands. I was surprised by how much criticism and judgment came up when discussing this topic, and I am left with a desire to organize more events and discussions on this topic. Related, Misha Bonaventura of Bonobo Network was just interviewed on the Sluts and Scholars Podcast and spoke about the inner Slut Secure work she teaches, and how these allow people to show up to one night stand in a way that these are experienced as a securely connected experience. Also Related, last week Rachel Lark posted an essay on the difficulties associated with keeping casual connections, casual “I was confused for a while about the feelings that came up for me when guys in play spaces would want to, again, “exchange info” after we’d played... And I didn’t know how to say no at this point in the interaction. Was that even allowed? Was I a complete asshole if I didn’t want to see this person again? Even if I’d had a good time and they were nice and didn’t do anything wrong?“ |
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How does Plura compare when it comes to user privacy? - Plura does not share your data with unauthorized third parties.
- If you buy a paid ticket from any organizer on Plura, Plura shares your the email address associated with the ticket (this could be a different email than the email address associated with the account) with the organizer.
- Plura asks members to share their location or enter their location during onboarding.
- Plura collects personal information about members’ gender and sexual orientation (this is an optional step during onbaording).
- Members can email support@heyplura.com and request that their personal data be deleted at any time.
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My 8 A.I. besties Check out this NYT article featuring life alongside 8 A.I. friends. The first thing I noticed was that these A.I. friends looked nothing like my actual friends, they had very little wrinkles and their teeth were very very very white. The second thing I noticed, when looking through the texting threads, was that all the “conversations” were focused on validating, cheering, and being curious about the human. There was no conversation about the A.I friend. And you call this friendship?!? | | |
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I have so much to say about Mother’s Day I am a parent of 2 kids. If you really knew me, you’d know that becoming a mother has been one of the biggest transformations I’ve experienced and is one of my core and favorite identities. Being a mother stretches far beyond the two kids I hosted in my body. My definitions of mother is fairly broad. You don’t have to identify as a women, be assigned a specific gender at birth, or be required to deliver a child to be a mother, and you can be the mother of humans older than you (as many of us know because we’re still parenting our parents). Essential Labor: Mothering as Social Change by Angela Garbes, touches on the essence of the mother role in our society and how the concept of mothering has the potential to create a more equitable society. | | |
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Meta-parent My kids have a meta-parent (an adult who is not a co-parent, but is a partner of a polyamorous parent, and who has a familial relationship with their partner's kid). They love her so much and I feel so lucky that they share this connection. |
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For Mother's Day, we are releasing a series of interviews between Koe and Dawn Davidson, who refer to their relationship as meta-kid and meta-parent. Dawn has been partnered on-and-off with Koe's father in a long distance relationship for the entirety of Koe's life, and though Dawn wasn't considered a co-parent to Koe, the two have developed a close and impactful Metaparent-Metakid relationship. | | |
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WORKSHOP: Polyamory and Parenthood On Tuesday, The Daylovers, from Remodeled Love are hosting a Polyamory and Parenthood workshop. In the workshop they will take us through their “traffic light” theory and touch on the ways that polyamory and parenthood enhance each other, challenge each other, and sometimes make each other almost unbearable and impossible. FYI: This workshop is a fundraiser for the yongest Daylovers’ kid who’s dealing with health issues, and 100% of the profits transferred to the Daylovers. Please consider purchasing a ticket and supporting the Daylovers. | | |
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CW: Mothers at war Content Warning: war, conflict, sexual assault, violence, crime, death. Links include stories of violence across Ukraine, Gaza, Russia, Israel. Many of the links are paywalled.
I can’t talk about mothers without addressing what’s happening in the world right now. There is so much pain and loss, and terror, and grief. And mothers are holding so much of it, paying the price for it, and fighting to end it. | | |
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Community Spotlight I’m obsessed with Dani O’Brien Buckley’s new baby, Another Way. Dani is (another brave) Bay Area tech executive who decided to leave the corporate world and try to find a career path more aligned with her values and passions. I love that her new project, Another Way Podcast, captures stories from people who challenge the status quo and rethink life. The first episode resonated deeply with me and touched on navigating death cycles. | | |
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See you next week. Noa Elan Community Builder | Plura | | |
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Note: This newsletter represents my personal opinions and thoughts. I understand I may have unexamined views and I appreciate when people point them out so that I am made aware and can start thinking about them. When I make mistakes I am committed to learning about my impact on others and repairing. Contact me anytime: noa@heyplura.com |
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